Joking Speaker
by Yomitoru
Summary: -Hiatus- Hinata stared at the reflection in the mirror with distaste as she saw the same broken figure she had 11 years ago. The mirror screamed at her, worthless, unloveable, monster, PARASITE! Lavender eyes widened in rage and she couldn't stop her fist from flying into the mirror, smashing it. She ignored the glass embedded in her arm and cried like the parasite she was.
1. Prologue

**A/N: **Hey everyone! This is an update, I reread this chapter and was disgusted by some of the mistakes I made and how cheesy it sounded so I'm cleaning it up a little. Hope you enjoy!

**This story is told in Hinata's POV. This was uploaded before but I deleted it so I can re-do these chapters.**

**Summary: **Hinata and Naruto's relationship was perfect, the perfect couple. Or so Hinata thought, What will Hinata do when she finds Naruto cheating on her with Sakura. Hinata spins into a depression, like her life wasn't hard enough, with her abusive father and protecting her sister from him. How is it going to turn out good now? Rated M for suicide thoughts, no lemons, sorry. NaruHina

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><p><strong>Joking Speaker<strong>

**Prologue**

"Where were you Hiashi?" Was how the fights always started, my mother, Hyuga Hikari would say that one sentence and everything went to Hell, spiraling downwards. Though, this time would be different. It would change everything, but I, at that time would not have known that.

My father, Hiashi stepped in the house, closing the door behind him. That blank yet menacing look that only certain Hyuga's could pull off was on his face. He silently walked up to my mother, the closer he got the more he seemed to tower over my mom. Okaa-san, however didn't back down.

"I said _where were _you!" She raised her voice at him, he however seemed unaffected. Many would suspect he would jump in to defend himself like he usually did, but not this time. He seemed more annoyed than mad.

"None of you business!" He said calmly, but his eyes said 'Shut the hell up' she didn't let up.

My mom sneered at him, "I'm your wife, Hiashi! Why the hell are you always like this?" She slammed her fist on the counter top. "You're always coming home late, and when I ask you where you were you always brush me off like you haven't done anything wrong!" She screeched at him, her voice breaking as her tears ran down her cheeks. "You've been like this since I've been pregnant with Hanabi! You're the _fucking _reason why she was a high-risk pregnancy! You keep stressing me out, do you like doing this? Do you like causing me and the girls pain?" Hiashi said nothing and continued to take her verbal abuse. "You go out and disappear for the entire night without a word! You know what happened today? When I went to tuck Hinata in she asked me 'Where's daddy? He always tucks me in.' How do you explain to a five-year old girl that her own mother doesn't know where her husband is? That her father is always gone at night? That her father no longer cares for his family!"

"Hikari, silence yourself." My father mumbled quietly, balling his hands into fists.

Okaa-san didn't stop and kept going and pressed further. "Then why don't YOU go into that room and explain to her what you do with those _whores _every night you're not home!"

"Hikari." He said a bit more loudly.

"Fuck, Hiashi! You never listen to a damn word I say! I want fucking answers, now!" She pushed at his shoulders, "It's always about you! You never stop to ask me how I feel. When was the last time you told me you loved me? Or held hands with Hinata? Or actually held Hanabi in your arms?"

Hiashi's face turned red, "Hikari!"

"Maybe If you actually kept you fucking dick in your pants we wouldn't be-" She was cut off when a hard slap was delivered to her already tear-stained cheeks. The sharp noise cut through the air like a knife, and after that complete and utter silence followed.

Okaa-san's face was stuck to the left, the direction she was slapped in. Her head slowly rotated back into place as she stared in disbelief at her so-called husband. His hand was raised in the air with a horrifying look of murder in his eyes as he glared at his 'wife'.

In all that deafening silence, a baby's cry echoed through the house, Hanabi.

Father picked up his suitcase, fixed his collar and left the house. The sound of the door slamming echoing with Hanabi's cries. A sniffle escaped Kaa-san as she turned around headed towards the stairs, where I was standing, watching the event play through. My eyes widened as I saw my mother head towards me. panicking, I ran upstairs to my room and closed the door silently, praying that everything would be fine and back to normal by morning. I slid down to the floor with my hands covering my eyes as a choked sob left me.

What I didn't know was that everything had changed that night. Hiashi began to come home later and later, Kaa-san smiled less and stopped tucking me in and reading me bedtime stories. I wound up doing it all by myself as I desperately tried to save my family's relationship. I was the one who took care of Hanabi most of the time, Okaa-san would never say a word let alone have the motivation to do anything. I was practically a mom at five years old.

There were no more smiles, no more hugs, no more 'I love you's, I felt like I was raising myself and Hanabi and possibly even Okaa-san.

I thought my life was bad then. But now ...

Their arguments got worse and worse each day, and everyday I watched, somehow hoping for a miracle that we could repair the mends of our broken family together. But, after Hiashi learned that he could silence Mother with a smack, he used it more often.

But then one night came, the night where I died inside.

The day I lost my mother.

It was around nine o'clock, as I was putting Hanabi to sleep when I heard the door slam. Startled, I left Hanabi in her crib and rushed to my usual hiding place beside the stairs. What was Hiashi doing home so early? He usually came home around three a.m. never at nine. Kaa-san was sitting at the dinner table, like she did everyday since the incident. Just sitting there waiting and waiting until he came home, so another argument can issue and givng Hiashi another reason to hurt Kaa-san more often. The red hand markings on her cheeks seemed permanent now.

Hiashi began walk straight past Kaa-san, like he didn't even want to go through what he calls nonsense. I shivered from my place by the stairs, would they find me this time? Though the encounter seemed less intense as usual, I still had a gut wrenching feeling in the pit of my stomach. I somehow knew that I would regret this night for the rest of my life and forever more.

Kaa-san decided to be blunt and just blurted her emotions out, not like she usually did. "I love you, Hiashi."

His motions stopped, he was facing away from her but he was facing in my direction, his face was unreadable, that was the worst part. No one could ever tell what he was thinking, he could have been seething with rage and it would take years to detect it.

"Don't you love me, Hiashi?" Kaa-san asked him, her voice seemed desperate. Just hoping that he would suck up his pride and say yes already. There should have been no hesitation, right? Didn't Hiashi love her mother? That's how it should have been, right? You meet, get married, have children, and live happily ever after, right? Then how come they weren't happy? Kaa-san wasn't happy, I wasn't happy and neither was Hanabi. The only one that seemed happy was Hiashi, at least that's what Kaa-san said. She said that he only seemed to be happy with those _whores _but . . . what was a whore? Were these _whore _things really that bad?

"Don't you love me? And Hinata? And Hanabi?" She pleaded, tears starting to spill. "Don't you want to be a nice happy family? You, me, and the girls?" She let out a bitter smile, "We can't be happy if you're out all the time, the girls need their father and I need a husband." Her voice got softer and softer with each word as the tears spilled from her eyes like curtains.

Still, Hiashi said nothing, just standing there with that stoic look on his face.

Her emotions flared and she became angry, which would usually lead to her downfall. But today what I didn't expect was for my mother to push and shove Hiashi with everything she had. She screamed , saying words like, 'Bastard!' or "Asshole" she would even shout things like 'How can you just sit there fucking those whores and not think about the two girls you have at home!' and the most common 'I don't even remember what I saw in you!'.

Tears leaked from my eyes, I wished I could stop this just stop this constant fighting. But what could I do? I was only five years old, I doubt I could stop a fight between two people in their mid-twenties.

Hiashi finally had enough of Kaa-san's words of protest and shoving but instead of giving her a slap he shoved her back. They went back and forth trying to over power the other and tossing hurtful words at each other. Soon furniture was being thrown, like the new lamp Okaa-san bought not even 3 weeks ago, and even some family picture frames and kitchen utensils.

What happened to our family? We were fine, or at least that's what I thought. I was so concerned with my own selfish deeds that I never stopped to think what Kaa-san and Hiashi felt. Were they really this unhappy?

The sound of breaking glass echoed through the room and ended with a deathly silence. I looked upon the scene the floor was littered with glass, there was blood . . . a lot of blood. Hiashi wore the most sadistic look I have ever seen and I rattles my soul to this very day. No . . . NO! Tears flowed down my cheeks as I gazed at my Kaa-san's unmoving, bloody body. Taking what little courage I had left I ran straight past my _father _and to my motionless mother.

There was a lot of blood as the crimson liquid pooled around her body starting from her head. Glass shards were embedded deeply into her skull. I stared at her eyes, that warm lavender tint that was always in her eyes was gone, leaving a pure soulless white.

I crouched down to her, shaking her. I hoped and prayed she would wake up laughing and smiling like this was all a nightmare, a hellish nightmare. But it wasn't this was no dream, the red liquid on my hands were blood . . . real blood . . . my mother's blood. The room seemed to spin as all this hit me. This couldn't be happening!

I touched her hand. "So cold . . ." she felt like ice, she was supposed to be warm, she was always warm, why not now?

That familiar sensation of the warmth her hand always gave, had faded. Along with her and her promises of being a happy family once again.

And, I just then noticed how narrow-mindlessly bewildered I was from being frozen in fear at the change of her appearance. Her body had a vivid color to it, covered in crimson. I latched our fingers onto each others. As the crimson blood layered, her throat made a noise that sounded like an obscure song.

My breathing became heavier as I realized that Kaa-san went beyond the bank of the rapids, and without end I continued to scream, shaking her body, begging her to come back to us. My eyes hazed over as I felt my body drop into the puddle of my own mothers blood, the last thing I saw before I lost conciousness was Hiashi's dark, evil, twisted smirk.

Hiashi walked back to what was once a shared bedroom, on the way stepping on and shattering the glass picture frame of what was once known as a happy family.

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><p><strong>Chapter End<strong>

**Hope you guys liked the first chapter, and yes Hiashi is an ass. And if you haven't noticed this story will be mostly in Hinata's POV. This chapter was kind of rushed so it may suck. By the way I was thinking of changing the title to 'Wanna Die?' or should I keep it as is? Because 'Joking Speaker' is supposed to have a deeper meaning, like a girl who goes through a life of pain but I too afraid to stand up for herself and fight back, and goes through even more pain by not telling people about the problems in her life, like getting abused.**

**Questions? Suggestions? Review and tell me how I did!**

**Sorry for the short chapter, next one will be longer.**


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Hey guys! I'm back with another chapter of Joking speaker, Though the story seems to be going slow and boring, things will start to heat up by chapter five or six. Also, I would like to thank: **Dreaded Rasengan**, **Rose Tiger**, and **Amaya Mizuki Baron **and **Sadistic One** for reviewing! Love you guys for reading this because most people are turned off by these dark types of stories. This is my first time doing this, and I think I have done a pretty good job. Quote/Song below is **Rain Song** by **Girls Dead Monster**. By the way my japanese is improving, I can't wait to go there! Koko ni watashi-tachi wa iku! (Here we go!)

**Summary: **Hinata and Naruto's relationship was perfect, the perfect couple. Or so Hinata thought, What will Hinata do when she finds Naruto cheating on her with Sakura. Hinata spins into a depression, like her life wasn't hard enough, with her abusive father and protecting her sister from him. How is it going to turn out good now? Rated M for suicide thoughts, no lemons, sorry. NaruHina

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><p><strong>Joking Speaker<strong>

**Chapter Two: **Where it All Fell

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto! *Throws down hat and runs away*

_You said we would be together forever; I'm certain of it _  
><em>I wonder if I was the only one to remember <em>  
><em>Forgetting the stars I saw with you; Forgetting the dreams I had with you <em>  
><em>I don't want to keep going our separate ways<em>

I snap out of my thoughts as Kurenai sensei taps the board with a tiny piece of chalk, making sure that everyone was paying attention to her as she wrote down the notes for the lesson. I don't pay attention though, because I already knew the material she was teaching us, what good would it serve me anyway? Once again my mind begins to wander.

It's been 11 years since the death of my mother, since Hiashi murdered her. After I had woken up from fainting in my own mother's blood, I was in my bed, alone. Flashbacks of my mother's death flashed into my mind and I had gotten out of bed to my _father's _study. When I got there I asked him where she was. I wondered if it was all a dream, it seemed too realistic to be a dream; now that I recall it. Hiashi told me that it was not my buissness, and that I should go back to bed.

But as stupid as I was I threw a fit, I shouted at him, and shreiked at him. I yelled telling him that I saw everything. About how he left me and my mother laying there in a pool of blood. Many colorful words left my mouth that was not expected from a five year old girl.

Hiashi, silenced me with a smack across my face that sent me falling to the floor harshly. My eyes were teared up as I stared up at the crazed, sadistic look of his. The same look he had on his face when he killed my mother. I was scared shitless.

That was another day that I would never forget. It was the first day he had ever layed his hand upon my face in such a harsh manner.

Hiashi gave me some half-assed made up story of my mother's death, it made me even angrier that he would try to play me as a fool when he knows I was right there listening to every word, and watching every movement. But, as much as I knew he lied, I just left. I didn't want to end up my mother, after all.

I knew he wasn't telling the truth of my mothers death, so while he was on one of his late night rendez-vous, I searched his office. After twenty minutes of going through contant company files, I came upon a manilla file, containing the information on the death of my mother. In the folder contained many files and papers that described what had happened after that night. Apparently, after he took me to bed, he brought Kaa-san to the hospital. There, he bribed the doctor with $1,700 to keep his secret. He then ordered a hit man to murder the doctor, so he would never say a word to anyone (Thought it made no sense to me though). The hospital staff and Hiashi had buried my mother in a cemetery without me noticing.

That bastard!

It also contained the information as to where my Kaa-san was burried. It's so sad, Hanabi would never get to know her mother. That was what broke my heart the most.

Hanabi was so innocent, she never deserved any of it! Hiashi took away her mother, before she even got to remember her! Now, Hanabi is eleven and she can't even remember her mother's face!

After my mother's death I stopped calling Hiashi my father, no father of mine would kill his own wife, it was HIS fault, they could have worked it out. I know they could've!

Though, Hanabi has always been my source of living, I live only to protect her. Well, that and my boyfriend Naruto-kun. They're my pride and joys! I wouldn't be able to live without them.

Anyway, when I was ten and Hanabi was five, Hiashi remarried. He married a woman named Karu, Karu had chocolate colored waist length hair that sparkled in the sun. Her eyes was a ice blue color. Despite the icy color of her eyes, they were filled with warmth and kindness. Her maiden name was Hokubu Karu meaning Northern Light, a pretty name for a woman like her.

I feel bad that she had to marry a man like Hiashi, of course I don't blame her. When he was dating her, he always kept his true side hidden. Well that is until he married her, then he let his evil side take foward. He beat her as well but I always got the worst of it, since I look like my birth mother.

Hiashi wasn't as foolish as he used to be though, he kept this wife alive. He only hit her enough to teach her a lesson, maybe a couple of bruises here and there but not enough that she would want to leave. Karu believed that it was just Hiashi being drunk and that he was a good guy. All while he beat her, stupid woman. If only she only knew the Hiashi I knew, the Hiashi Hanabi knew. The evil tyrant named Hiashi.

At thirteen I had my first, and still currently dating, boyfriend Naruto-kun.

I never told him about what happened in my household, he has never been to my house, and never will be until I find a way to explain what specifically happens when I am at home. I remember, when I first found out I loved him, I was so shy! I couldn't even speak to him without studdering like a fool.

I had put a wall around my heart after Hiashi had killed my mother, I vowed not to let anyone in. I kept pushing him and pushing him back, but Naruto-kun was persistant. Somehow he kept coming back, chipping away at those walls piece by piece. Until, he finnaly broke them down and found a way to my heart.

Of course those walls were only down around Naruto-kun and Hanabi now. And that's enough for me.

I even remember the day Naruto-kun asked me to be his girlfriend.

**XxXx Flashback xXxX**

_I stood by the river, staring down at my reflection, this was one of my favorite places to be. Especially after school, there would be a blend of colors in the sunset that reflected over the river's surface. It was located in the middle of a shallow valley. The river wasn't very deep, it only rose to the middle of my leg. And it was a clear river, on some days you could even see some fishes swimming in it._

_I came here everyday after school, when I knew it would be sunset. It was very beautiful here, it brought me peace, knowing that I would soon go home to an abusive father and a happy-go-lucky step-mom in denial._

_Taking off my knee length socks and shoes, I slipped my feel into the cool and refreshing water._

_A faint smile graced my lips as the cool water surrounded my feet and relaxed me in a way nothing else could. I raised my head and stared at the various hues of the sunset. This was one of the most beautiful places in Japan, one of the only reasons I liked living here._

_I let out a huge sigh, it felt as if all my inabitions have left me. I felt a huge weight being lifted off of me._

_"Hinata?"_

_My eyes snapped open and almost instantly I felt that weight come back onto my shoulders. I turned around to find Naruto-kun standing behind me, still in his school uniform and his hands in his pockets. "What are you doing here?" He asked me, I gulped loudly, I'm pretty sure he heard it. I heard my heartbeat rise and my face heating up. I'm pretty sure I look like a tomato right now._

_I clumily poked my fingers together, "I-uhm, I always c-come here." I looked into his deep saphire eyes. "W-Why are you h-here?" I asked him._

_His eyes opened in curiosity, "Huh? Me?" He pointed to himself. " Well, I was just walking home and I saw you sitting there and I uh, remembered I had somehing to ask you." He put his hands behind his head and I saw that his cheeks were tinted pink._

_Wait, he wanted to ask me something? Why? Did I do something wrong that I didn't know about? Was he mad? All these questions raped my mind as I started at him in shock, not believing that he would actually talk to ME of all people._

_Finnaly getting the courage to speak I asked him, "What did you want to ask me?"_

_I saw his semi-blush spread all over his cheeks, as he scratched the back of his head nervously._

_I think I saw him panic for a brief second, "So, uh ... what do you do while you're here?" Naruto-kun asked me, I knew that wasn't the real question. He wouldn't have gotten so nervous about it then if it was just that simple question. _

_But I sighed and decided to play along 'till he felt comfortable enough to tell me._

_"N-Nothing really, I just like it here because i-it's so peaceful here." I let a small smile slip on my lips as I looked away from him and gazed at the stunning sunset above us. Hearing a movement next to me, I tore my eyes from the breath taking sunset to Naruto who had sat down next to me on the grass. I watched him with mild intrest as he desperately tried to get off his sneakers without undoing the laces. After he finnaly managed to slip his sneakers off, his dunked his feet into the water with mine._

_We both just sat there not saying a thing. I wondered if he was going to ask me what he said he would._

_I was so lost in my thoughts I barely noticed that he moved his hand was on top of mine. I looked down at our hands. A shock went through my entire body as Naruto gripped my hand and squeezed it firmly. _

_I was completely stunned, I lifted my head and looked at him, shock still evident in my eyes. Naruto-kun's head was down staring straight into the water._

_His head lifted up slowly and his breath taking saphire eyes met mine. There was a fire burning in his eyes, a fire that looked like passion. My eyes widdened and my blush deepened. Oh my god he's leaning in! He's leaning in! He kept getting closer and closer until his lips touched mine. Naruto-kun was kissing me! It was brief and short, but it happened. He leaned in again, and this time I did too. His unoccupied hand found its way to the back of my head and he pulled me into the kiss more. His lips started to move against mine and I followed him._

_I didn't know much about love, but I'm pretty sure that it felt just like this._

_And I knew that this would be a start of something new ... _

**XxXx Flashback End xXxX**

The last school bell rung and everyone in the classroom rose from their seats and frantically packed their bags up, so they could hurry up and leave so they could enjoy their day off as soon as possible. Though for me it was more like a night mare, because it meant about eight more hoursat home with Hiashi. Something I really didn't want to deal with.

I picked up my tan colored shoulder bag and slung it over my shoulder. I picked up the paper on my desk and on the way out I dropped it off on Kurenai sensei's desk. She gave me a weird stare, but as I did with everyone else I just shrugged it off and continued on with my buisness.

I was more focused on seeing Naruto-kun anyway. His class was in room 3-B mine was in 4-D meaning I had to go down the stairs just to reach him, but he was worth it.

With my bag around my shoulder I walked out the classroom and blended in with the jumbled crowd in the halls. I ignored the glares some of the girls sent me, they did not like me for some reason. They teased and beat me on a reguar occasion, well that is when Naruto-kun wasn't around. When he was, he would protect me and keep the girl away from me. But if he wasn't there in school they would stop me on my way home or during break time.

It was another thing I had to thank Naruto-kun for.

After travelling down a flight of stairs and through numerous hallways I finnally came upon room 3-B, I slid open the door barely and squeezed myself through. Noticing that Kakashi-sensei was looking at me I gave him a nod of aknowledge and he did one back at me.

My heart beated loudly in my chest as my eyes met with Naruto-kun's light blue eyes. A smile crossed his face and he opened his arms for me. My lips formed into a gigantic smile as I ran and jumped into his arms, snuggling into his hard and muscular chest.

I felt him plant a kiss on my forehead, this is where I wanted to be, in his arms forever. Sadly this momment had to end though, I let him go recluctantly though.

"Are you going to able to walk me home, Naruto-kun?" I asked him, hoping that he was.

"Heh heh," He rubbed the back of his head in a nervous matter, " I can't today, I have to stay after for supplementary lessons or Kakashi-sensei will kick my ass!" It seemed that Kakashi-sensei heard him, as I saw him raise an eyebrow at Naruto-kun.

Though I was sad that he wouldn't be able to walk me home, I understood. His grades were terrible, sadly.

"Awww, ok. I love you, Naruto-kun." I stood on my tippie-toes and gave him a kiss on his soft lips. I blushed when I caught him licking his lips, his hand grasped mine and pulled me back towards his lips for another kiss. He gave me his trademark kitsune smile, I giggled and left the school. I really didn't want to go home but I guess I have to face them sooner or later. But later the better in my book.

I was on my way to Hanabi's school now. After school I would pick Hanabi up and walk her home. That way if she got into any trouble I could be there for her. Hanabi was a trouble maker, and still kind of is. I remember a couple of years back I had to pick Hanabi up early because she practically scratched this one boy's eyes out, just because he wanted to play in the sand box with her. I think his name was Konohamaru.

Wait a minute . . . Crap! I left my notes with Naruto-kun! If I didn't study tonight there would be no way of passing Kurenai-sensei's tests. I released a sigh, sucked in my breath and went out into a full blown sprint.

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><p>The school finnaly came into view, after running about half a mile I managed to make it in only 15 minutes. But I wasn't fast enough to avoid the down-pour. When I watched the news they said that the sky would be clear, so I didn't take an umbrella with me to school today.<p>

I bent over, my hands on my knees and panted. It felt great with the nice, cool, rain was beating down on me.

When I finnaly caught my breath I walked up to the school and upstairs.

When I first came to this school, I got lost all the time. Because I was always lost I ran into my executioners a lot. It was hell back then, well it still is but now that I know every nook and cranny of the school I can avoid them.

They did the worst type of thing I could think of. They beat me, pushed me around and caused me to feel worse about myself than I already had. If only they knew. If only they knew what kind of hell my life was, I bet the would be on their knees begging me for forgiveness. But life doesn't work that way, life isn't as happy as it seems. It doesn't happen like reality tv shows. People die, they die and never come back. Then you left with a little reminder of what could of been.

I had been so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn't realize I was at the class Naruto-kun had his lesson session at. I walked up to the door and was about to slide it open when I hear a certain someone say something.

"Wait - woah, woah, woah, woah! Y-You - wh-what do you mean?" That was Naruto-kun's voice I heard. What's going on in there? I slid the door slightly so they didnt hear. It was just enough space to see who was talking to who. There was no lessons. It was just Naruto and Sakura-san! What could they be doing? What was going on?

"It means that I love you, Naruto-kun." I heard Sakura say. What the hell!

"I-I thought you loved Sasuke." He told her.

Sakura faked a blush, and held her finger up to her cheek in a way to charm him. This is bad, Naruto-kun used to have the huggest crush on Sakura-san. But it's gone, right?

"I used to love Sasuke-kun, but now I love you." She said to Naruto-kun. She lied, the other day she was flirting with Sasuke-kun. He told her off worse than anyone could imagine in her little fairy-tale world. The only reason she's coming onto Naruto-kun now is stupid attempt to make Sasuke-kun jealous. But it will never happen. Like I said before, life doesnt work that way.

"I-I." Naurto-kun studdered his words still unable to form actual words. By now the door was full open, but they didn't see me, too wrapped up in their own buisness.

"Don't you love me too, Naruto?" Say no! You love me, right?

"Sakura-chan."

Naruto wrapped his arms around her wait and pulled Sakura-san into a kiss! "I love you Sakura-chan." My whole word crumbled with that sentence. I dropped my school bag and it landed on the floor with a big THUD! All my papers were scattered on the floor. Naruto and Sakura broke their kiss and stared at me in shock. Sakura-san's look of shock then turned into a look of twisted evil and michief, she smirked at me. A smirk filled with evil intentions.

I forced open my closed eyes. If I force open my covered mouth, the words I spit out will hurt you. The words I want to shout are kept in my head.

A tear slipped from my eyes, I shook my head and ran. I wouldn't let them see me cry.

"HINATA-CHAN!" I heard Naruto-kun call after me but at that time I had blocked everything out.

I was running down the street in the pouring rain, I didn't know where I was going but I wanted to be anywhere but there at this time. I came to my senses and realized I had ended up at the childrens park. It was a small park it only had a slide and a little jungles gym. I always came here to think, if there were kids here then I would go to the creek. I mostly came here after Hiashi's occasional beatings or as he called them, love taps.

I sighed and climbed into the jungle gym. It had a little roof so I would be sheltered from the rain then. I sat down and looked at the yellow-colored plastic room that was above me.

I thought he loved me. He said he was over Sakura.

Doesn't he realize that he is being used by Sakura? To make Sasuke-kun jealous and put me in more pain. Sakura knew that Naruto-kun saved me, if Naruto was on her side her and her little cronies would be free to hurt me without any interferance.

I can still see everything with a blurry image, the way Sakura's sea green eyes stared at Naruto-kun a sense of false love. The way Naruto's lips moved when he announced the same feeling for her. The feeling for her and not me. The scenery in front of me are afterimages I don't want to see. My fists tightened and drew blood.

I feel so stupid! I put all me trust and faith in him and he turned around and stabbed me in the ass.

I was always afraid of this. It was a secret, I was afraid of being hurt and I longed for eternal love. Ever since my mom's death I had called off most of my emotions, but it still wanted love.

I don't believe the truth is good. I'm still a weak little bug, I haven't grown at all. But if I lose all feelings then that inner voice will burn up.

Grow up.

Grow up, Hinata.

When will you learn?

When will you learn, Hinata?

A tear fell onto my hand. I had only now notcied that I had been crying. I sniffled and right then and there I put my head in my knees and cried my myself to sleep in the park with the rain beating down from the sky. As if it knew my pain. As if kami-sama knew of my pain. HA! As is god ever cared for me. He wasn't there for me when my mother died or every time Hiashi beat me so he won't be there now.

Like I said ... Life is not a fairy tale.

**. . . .**

I unlocked the door to my house, feeling dead like the night my mother died. I glanced at a clock. It read 11:48 p.m. guess I stayed out longer than I thought. Before I could shut the door completely I was comfronted by Karu. She had an apron over her outfit and she carried a dirty dish rag in her hands, probably cleaning the kitchen.

Her hands roamed all over me, checking me for injuries.

"Itoshii, are you alright?" She questioned me, she finished patting me my arms.

I ignored her questing however, "Karu, is Hiashi home?"

Karu's eyes saddened, I think it hurt her that I never addressed her as my mother. But it was true, she wasn't my mother and never will be. My mom is buried six feet under.

"No." She paused a second. "No, he is not but he-"

"Thank you." I cut her off and I started to walk towards my room

Karu reached out to me. "Itoshii, Hinata." I didn't answer her, I just kept walking to the stairs.

Hanabi was by the stairs looking at me in shock and worry.

"Nee-chan, where were you? You were supposed to pick me up from school, remember?" I didn't answer Hanabi either, I kept on walking.

I felt dead and had no intention of talking to Karu nor Hanabi. Hopefully, I would die in my sleep.

_'I' am a 'jokester' I lie, I lie._

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><p><strong>AN: Karu means light, and Hyuga means towards the . . . so her name means Towards the Light. Some Shugo Chara fans may know what I'm talking about with the river, remember the path that Amu always takes on the way home? Well, she passes a river that is located in a shallow valley, they show it every time from time. Even some Kashimashi fans know what I'm talking about since they show the river like every episode! It's also featured on Fooly Cooly.**

**By the way, itoshii means dear. It's Karu's catchphrase basically.**

**Sorry about the ending being crappy but it's one in the morning, my back hurts, and I can't feel my ass. So please just deal with it.**

**Please review! And thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Hey guys! Another chapter Hope you guys like this! Either way I'd like to thank the reviewers! Special thanks to **naruto9001believeit**,** CharNinja LOL**,** Rose Tiger**, **Gaarasmama**, and** I am L with a death note **! I would also love to thank everyone who favorited this story and added me as your favorite author. If you guys like this story check out my other stories. See? This time I updated faster! (Or at least tried to) It's not easy writting 5,000 words in a week while working on my other stories as well, so it's not easy. The quote/ song below is **Reflect **by **Hatsune Miku**.

****Summary: ****Hinata and Naruto's relationship was perfect, the perfect couple. Or so Hinata thought, What will Hinata do when she finds Naruto cheating on her with Sakura. Hinata spins into a depression, like her life wasn't hard enough, with her abusive father and protecting her sister from him. How is it going to turn out good now? Rated M for suicide thoughts, no lemons, sorry. NaruHina

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><p><strong>Joking Speaker<strong>

**Two: Facade**

_While the dazzling light grows dark,  
>you forgot the way of your own outline<br>Even still, it did not stop at anyone's eyes  
>You beat up the dirty mirror,<br>because you meeting me was a horrible thing  
>Even still, it did not stop at anyone's eyes<em>

It was a serene little world. Filled with things you would see in a toy catalog, or a five year old girl's imagiation land. There were toys as far as the eye can see, and the rich, green grass stretched on for miles never ending. Distant petit mountains surrounded the grassy, green plains giving the skyline a hazy yet beautiful look. Vibrant magenta flowers covered the fields head to toe, that was the key that gave it off as a little girl's imagination paradise.

The plain was covered by many different items.

There was a merry go round and a ferris wheel to the back over by the mountains. There was a minature train that looked to be designed for children from the ages of 3 to 8.

In the middle of the field was a small wooden dinner table, covered with many delecacies. Including stuffed turkey; the bones of the thighs were tied with small pink bows, a fluffy omlett covered in a thick tomato sauce, perfectly cut rainbow trout sashimi, a plate of eggs served sunny side up and A cake covered in strawberry icing with real strawberries on top for deccoration.

The girl had shiny, perfectly cut indigo hair and red rosy cheeks. Her hazy lavender eyes were wide and alluring as it framed her face perfectly. She looked to be about fifteen and was dressed in a konohagakure uniform. The girls large breasts stuck out through her tight fitting uniform. The girl known as Hinata leaned forward in her chair, her lips curled into a small smile as she stared at the two figures across from her.

"Hinata, be sure to eat your food. You want to have energy for later, ne Hiashi?"

A pale hand reached across the table and set down a new item on it. The hand opened the cover and revealed itself to be tonkatsu with a side of shredded cabbage and boiled rice.

"Sugoi!" Hinata chanted staring at all the different types of food placed on the table. Picking up her chopsticks Hinata shouted out, "Itadakimasu!" She broke the chopsticks apart and began to eat the tonkatsu. After eating one of the pork cuttlets she turned to the man standing across from her.

"Tou-san, Will you be eating? It's delicious!" Hinata gushed. Hiashi pulled down the newspaper he was reading and smiled whole-heartedly at his daughter.

"You don't say?" He said quietly, Hiashi broke the chopsticks apart and dug into the sashimi placed in front of him. Swallowing a peice Hiashi hummed in approval, "You're right, Hinata. This is pretty good! You've outdone yourself Hikari." Hikari's cheeks gained a pinkish red hue.

"It's not that special, it's just sashimi." Her delecate hand rested on her heated cheeks as she looked the other way, embarassed.

Hinata watched from the other side of the table as her parents kissed in front of her with a smile on her face. When her parents seperated Hinata spoke up, "Kaa-san, Tou-san, I love you." Her voice was quiet but Hikari and Hiashi still heard her.

Hiashi stood from his chair and stood by Hikari, both with huge smiles on their faces. Hiashi's arm snuck it's way around Hikari's waist and Hikari did the same. Both parents held out their non-occupied arms out to Hinata. Hinata's smile grew ten times bigger and she jumped up out of her chair and ran into her parent's arms.

"We love you too, Hinata." Hiashi and Hikari said together to their beloved daughter simatamiously. Hinata felt tears running down her eyes as she snuggled into their chests.

"Don't ever leave me." Hinata said quietly afraid she would choke up because of her sobbing.

They hugged their daughter like their lives depended on it. "We won't. We're here."

_This was a lie__._

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><p><strong>XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX<strong>

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><p>My eyes snapped open and shot straight up in my bed. My chest heaved up and down as I breathed fiercely. Damn, not that dream again. Ever since Kaa-san died I started having that weird dream. It was like a fantasy world for a five year old. Well I guess that's understandable since the dream started occuring around the time I was five. I just thought the scenery would mature as my mind did.<p>

Another weird thing was that whenever I had that dream I dreamed of us doing different things in that little world. Like my parents pushing me on a swing, or ridding on a merry go round while my parents watched me.

I wiped my forehead and looked at the back of my hand. There were tiny dropplets of sweat resting on it.

Every night I dreamed of that. A perfect family, a perfect life.

The life I didn't have.

Looking up from I hand I glanced towards my clock, it read 12:39 p.m; which meant I was two hours late for school. Whatever, I don't want to go anyway. It's still too soon to see Naruto-kun's face, his happy smiling face. That reserved foxy smile . . . for Sakura.

No! I promised myself I woudn't break down again. Not for something like that.

Turning my head away from my clock I glanced towards my door. That's strange. The door to my room was slightly open, but who could have opened it? Only Karu would come and check up on me, and when she did she would always close the door afterwards. Maybe she had forgotten to close it? No, Karu had never forgotten it would be unlikely for her to forget now. And there's no way in Hell Hiashi would visit me. The thought alone makes me sick to my stomach.

Maybe Hanabi had? Well I was acting different every since ... well you know. Maybe Hanabi was worried and came to check up on me? I must have worried her sick yesterday. What a poor sister I must be, to forget to walk Hanabi home from school and now forgetting to walk her to school? I must be the worst.

I threw my fluffed blanket from over me and stepped onto the cold wooden ground. I walked out of my room and into the hallway. Walking over my the stair's rail I looked over it, taking note that no one was home. Hiashi and Karu were probably at work and Hanabi was at school. I sighed in relief, if Hiashi found out I was home I could only imagine what kind of torture he would put me through.

I stood straight again and headed for the bathroom across the hall. I slid through the door and closed it carefully behind me. I sucked in a huge breath of air and looked at my reflection in the mirror. The reflection in the mirror shocked me to hell and back. I could swear I saw my mothers face! I rubbed my eyes thoroughly and looked back in mirror. I sighed heavily in relief when all I saw my usual ghostly reflection.

It wasn't a good appearance but it was better than seeing an image of my dead mother with blood running all down her face.

Though I did take note that my face was paler than usual, almost like it belonged to a corpse's. I ran a pale hand down my face, no wonder Naruto-kun left me for Sakura. I mean look at me, I'm way to pale while Sakura has nice tanned skin. My eyes are white and dull, Sakura's eyes are a vibrant, lively shade of green. My deep blue hair only adds to my ghostly look, I'm ... too dark. Sakura is pretty, entertaining, funny, who doesn't have a fucked up family. I'm none of those things, and I never will be. I'm just the troubled girl who is nothing more than a burden.

Before I knew it, my breathing became labored and more difficult. I ransacked the drawers of the bathroom searching for my haven. I felt something sharp prick me and I knew that I had found it, my secret haven.

I pulled it out of the drawer to reveal a sharpened medical scapel. My heart beated harshly against my chest in anxiety as I slowly lifted up the scapel and dragged it harshly against my skin. I watched in amusement as the crimson blood slowly built up and then slide down from my arm and onto the cold tiled floors of the bathroom.

It wasn't enough.

Somehow, I still felt suffocated. I began to viciously slash away at my arm and over previous healed scars. I watched as my arm was consumed by blood. My blood.

Still looking at my arm I noticed that a tear had joined the mix of blood, more tears joined the mix. My salty tears burned my open wounds and I hissed in pain. I clenched my hands into fists, or at least what I could manage since my left arm is completely numb.

God! I feel to the floor in my dizzyness, why am I so screwed up?

No wonder Naruto wouldn't want me. No one does, trust me Hiashi doesn't and if Karu was given the chance she would probably want to undo this shithole she was dragged into.

The room started to spin and turn. Coming in and out of focus occasionally, I felt a terrible migrane coming on and with my non-mulitated arm I grasped my head and screamed in pain 'till my voice became hoarse. As I finally finished screaming I drifted into unconciousness. But right before I blacked out I couldn't help but think that this was somehow ironic. Just like the night Okaa-san died I had screamed my head off and fell into a pool of blood. Pretty much what I am doing now.

I guess I really am like my mother, letting a man lead me on into a false sense of love and just stand there as I watch him take my life. Only this one was slow and painful and not quick and painless like my mothers.

And with that thought my world became dark.

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><p><strong>XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx<strong>

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><p>I groaned as my eyes opened. As soon as my vision became ungroggy a searing white hot pain went though my head, I struggled to keep myself from screaming in absoulute pain. After a couple of minutes the pain settled down.<p>

I was slightly dissapointed that I had survived, guess I was just lucky. Unlike my mother, then again Hanabi would be stuck with that monster of a man.

It was probably dark out now. Actually I have no clue what time of day it is. I just hope that Hiashi isn't home, and that he's out drinking.

My arms cried out in protest as I tried to bring myself up from the floor. All I could manage was to sit up, I almost cried out in pain when my legs tried to hold up my body weight. I looked at my arms they were completely covered with dried blood as was the floor and my clothes. I sucked in a deep breath and with all my willpower I pulled myself up using the sink as a balance. Once I had finnaly gained my balance I stripped of all my clothes.

I staggered over to the shower across the room and turned the water on full blast. Scorching hot water began to pour down on me and my muscles cried out in protest in response. I quickly scrubbed off the dried remains of blood off my skin.

When I stepped out of the shower my skin was completely pink from it's mistreatment. I grabbed a towel off the rack slipped it on me, and picked up my old clothes and threw them in the washer before turning it on.

I quietly opened the door and poked my head out, seems like no one is home yet. I walked into my room and put on my school uniform, If I was going to lie and act like I went to school then putting on my uniform was the best way to go.

While I was changing I heard my stomach growl loudly, I haven't eaten in about a day because I skipped last night. I planned on heading downstairs and eating a quick meal before going back to my room to sleep. My body still hurt like hell and I really wanted to sleep it all away.

But what I didn't expect was to meet a pair a cold lavender eyes staring me down as I set foot onto the floor. There he was sitting at the table, staring me down like a cat would a mice. He looked like he knew this was going to happen, like he was waiting for me. How long was he here? He stood from his chair and made his way over to me and in that split second I knew he wasn't gonna go easy on me.

Oh shit.

I felt myself tremble as Hiashi made his way over to me. I didn't know if he had been drinking, I couldn't smell any on him.

His shadow loomed over me and I took a fearful step back. Why wasn't he at work?

"Your mother told me to that she had something important to discuss, so I came home early." I gulped, "Where the hell were you?" His began to rise, It irked me that he called Karu my mother.

"I stayed after for supplementary lessons." I lied to him, it left a sour taste in my mouth that made me want to spit.

The next thing I knew I collasped onto the wooden floor, my cheek throbbed painfully and my ribs ached like a thousand needles. I took in short breaths, the pain in my ribs wouldn't allow me to inhale any deeper.

"Bull shit!" He spat out, he reached out and grabbed me by my colar leaving me suspened in the air, his cold eyes staring into mine. I saw him ball his hand into a fist and drew it back before letting it go towards my stomach I closed my eyes and waited for the pain to come. As the blow landed my air was knocked out of me and I was dropped onto the floor again.

"This is what happens to lying whores like you!" He kicked me harshly in the gut sending me rolling across the floor. With all my energy I grasped my stomach in an effort to stop the pain and take in air. My vision was fading in and out as I looked up at Hiashi, he looked completely insane.

He brought his foot back in a kicking motion, just as it was about to reach my face he froze as did I when the front door opened and revealed itself to be Hanabi. I saw a look of horror cross her face when her eyes fell upon the scene she just interrupted.

Hiashi turned to view his other daughter, he was going to take his anger out on Hanabi. I couldn't let that happen! I swore to protect the only thing keeping me alive and by damn it I won't let Hiashi take her away from me like Mom!

I grasped the end of his pants and he looked back at me, I mustered up all of my courage and told myself that this was for Hanabi, "Go to Hell." I said to Hiashi. Those twisted, evil eyes of his widdened before he brought his foot down onto my stomach so hard I coughed up blood.

Hanabi was in the corner, eyes filled with tears and worry. Hanabi's gaze met mine and I mouthed 'Go' She looked at me in hesitation before she nodded and swiftly ran upstairs leaving me with Hiashi.

My so called 'father' brought his foot down onto my gut again and stomped down on it repeatedly as he laughed hysterically as I screeched in pain.

I don't know how long it continued, all I could remember was a blurry blue and brown figure walking though the door that made him pause his assult on me. My hands instantly reached to my stomach and I curled up in pain. My insides felt like they were on fire.

The two blurs behind me conversed with one another as if they hadn't noticed my possible internal bleeding.

This what my life has been condemned to. Hiashi can beat me to Hell and back but no matter what kind of hell he puts me through he will never break my spirit. So Hiashi, beat all you want. Call me names, treat me like shit, but that won't stop me from bringing you down.

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><p><strong>XxXxXxXxXxXxX<strong>

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><p>The room was dim. The living room was in complete dissaray however, the chairs were all over the floor. Broken glass strewn all over the house. It was around three in the morning, around the time Hiashi would return home from his late night rendezvous. Which explained why the house was a complete mess.<p>

In the corner of the room was a little five year old girl crying her eyes out as she watched the scene unfold in front of her. Her semi-dark brown hair flowed in front of her face and was stained with her tears.

She let out another terrified scream when she watched Hiashi elbow Karu harshly in the face after she tried to free the ten year old Hinata from his deadly grip. The intense hit sent Karu flying into the cabinet that contained fine china. More than half the fine glass plates toppled over and broke the second the touched the floor, they somehow missed Karu's head however. But the inpact from hitting the cabinet rendered Karu unconsious

She was tired of seeing broken glass and she was pretty sure the other females in the room would agree.

Karu's interference only seemed to make him angrier. His grip on Hinata's throat tightened and he lifted her small body higher into the air causing the girl to make a gurgling noise. Her smaller fists pounded and clawed on Hiashi's larger ones, her grip getting weaker as his became stronger.

Still cowering in the corner Hanabi couldn't help but feel this was her fault. Hinata had always been protecting her and today had been no different. She had been sleeping with Hinata in her bed when she woke up about an hour ago because she was thirsty.

She didn't know that Hiashi would barge through the door, clearly intoxicated. Hanabi knew that even the slightest mistake would make Hiashi severely angry. She barely heard the glass cup slip from her hands and break into several peices across the floor.

Hiashi charged at her but stopped when he saw the slightly taller figure now standing in front of his object of fustration. Karu burst in the roomas well, they must of heard her drop the cup.

"Move." He commanded to Hinata.

Hinata shook her head and spread her arms out in a pathetic attempt to protect her little sibling and make herself look bigger,

"No." and just like that Hell had been unleashed all over again.

_This was the truth._

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading this chapter (It was crappie to me because I rushed with it). Just a few things to describe:<strong>

**Japanese students don't attend school till 10 am and finish at 6pm, thats why Hinata said she was 2 hours late. That's why in the mangas and anime when they get out of school it's always sunset. Also, ****I will be writting a side story to this, the main character will be Hanabi and her perspective of life, and shows some things that are going to be left out in this story. It will be a KonohamaruxHanabi story; Since there is no one in the series that is the same age as Hanabi or nearly as close. I would say Udon but he doesn't seem like Hanabi's type, plus for their story I need someone who is persistent and won't let up and Konohamaru came to mind! The chapters there will be the same time and date as these, besides the prologue since Hanabi isn't old enough to remeber how her mother died.**

**Also, before you tell me off let me explain things.**

**Sashimi is a japanese dish, a little like sushi. It's raw fish cut up into rectangular like peices. **

**Tonkatsu is also a japanese dish, it basically means pork cuttlets. It's breaded deep fried pork.**


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Hey Everyone! I'm back and I'm sorry about the lateness of the last chapter. I'm pretty sure most of you forgot this story but If not then thank you! Also I changed the summary If you haven't noticed already. Also, Hinata's situation will continue to get worse as chapters come by, but there is a happy ending. Anyway I know I haven't been so fast with these updates but life has been hectic. With trying to stay ahead in school, and finding out that I have a personality/mental disorder, and also having to deal with my new baby brother; so my life is busy now. Any way thank you to those who reviewed! Let's get on with it! The quote/song below is **Diver** by **NICO Touches The Walls**.

**Summary:** Hinata and Naruto's relationship was perfect, the perfect couple. Or so Hinata thought, What will Hinata do when she finds Naruto, the love of her life, supporting Hinata's biggest tormenter, Haruno Sakura. Hinata spins into a depression, like her life wasn't hard enough, with an abusive father and protecting her sister from him as well. How is it going to turn out good now? Rated M for suicidal thoughts and innappropriate language, no lemons, sorry. NaruHina. AU

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><p><strong>Joking Speaker<strong>

**Three: Haze**

_I want to breathe, it's painful here  
>Me, looking up into the darkness, a diver<br>without a way to float  
>If you want proof that your alive<br>Let's head down to the bottom of the  
>ocean one more time<em>

I groaned as I felt myself pull a muscle from under me. I slowly opened my eyes and waited for them to get used to the sunlight entering the room. Where was I anyway? I took a look around and realized that I was still in the living room. So I guess Karu just left me down here just so she can please her so called husband, and for once I actually thought she broke the fight up because she cared about me. I felt a tingling sensation and my chest and just then I realized that my heart broke just a bit more. But this isn't where I passed out from what I remember; I'm closer to the stairs than before. Maybe Hanabi tried to move me? She's been doing that a lot now lately; shouldn't I be the one to act like the older sister?

I guess now isn't the right time to be acting like this. I'm pretty sure school would start soon, if I wasn't already late, I assume. I pushed myself up from the cherry oak floor, my insides burned like they were on fire; no doubt I had a bruise. I can feel it even though I barely moved. I just hope that one of them isn't broken; a trip to the hospital with tons of doctors asking me how I received my injuries is not what I need right now.

I made my way up the stairs grunting with every agonizing step I took. Damn, I guess Hiashi was harsher last night than I had hoped for. I entered my room and went straight to my full length mirror. I raised my shirt and various colors of red, blue, purple and yellow glared back at me. My face made a sneer; I poked myself on my newly developed bruise only to flinch back at the pain I felt.

I pulled my shirt back down; I could steal some bandages from the infirmary in school. My stomach looked as if I haven't eaten in days, which I haven't. On that cue my stomach growled but I ignored it. I didn't have time to eat; I can just eat at school instead.

I turned and glanced at the clock, it was 9:36 that gave just enough time to walk Hanabi to school and make it to mine just on time.

I walked out my room and across the halls into Hanabi's, I knocked lightly on her closed door and told her to hurry or else we'll be late. While waiting for my _imoto_ to get dressed I walked into Karu and Hiashi's room.

Just being in here gave me chills. The sheets on the bed were not made, which means Karu gave herself to Hiashi to cool him down. The thought alone made me sick to my stomach. On top of the messed up sheets was a tiny sheet of paper. Picking it up I looked at the message with distaste:

"Hinata,

Me and your father went out for a little,  
>won't be back 'til later today.<br>Be safe and keep an eye out for Hanabi.

Karu"

Unable to contain my rage I clenched my fists tightly. How the hell do they just get up and leave without so much as a warning? Are me and Hanabi really that insignificant that she has to whore her own body around like a prostitute? After the way he treated her? The way he treated us?

"_Onee-chan_?"

I spun around to come face to face with Hanabi.

"What are you doing in Karu-sans's room?" I thought about telling the truth but I didn't want to hurt her, but, would Hanabi forgive me if I lie?

I gulped, "Nothing. Karu left a note; she and F-Father went out for a bit." It took me all my will power to actually call that man my father much more to acknowledge him as a family member. Hanabi looked skeptical at first before her eyes landed on the paper in my hands.

Her thin eyebrows rose, "Does it say where they're going or what they're doing?" She questioned. I honestly couldn't lie to Hanabi but telling her the truth would upset her if she were to understand the deeper meaning behind it.

"No. It doesn't say."

Hanabi's face fell, "Oh ok."

Now I felt extremely guilty, would it have been better if I had lied to her? That way she wouldn't be hurt. Either way it's all been said and done and I can't take it back now. Walking up to her I took her hand. "Come on, if we don't hurry we'll both be late." I saw her now as I guided her down the stairs. "If I get there earlier enough we could both get ice cream from that new place that just opened up on the way home, sounds good ne?" Hanabi nodded seeming happier at the mention of ice cream.

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><p><strong>XxXxXxXxXxXx<strong>

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><p>During the walk Hanabi looked at me then back to her feet repeatedly.<p>

It made me wonder if she wanted to ask me something. If I could guess she would probably ask why I stood up for her yesterday, or maybe because I was acting stranger than usual. Either way if she were to ask I would have no choice but to lie to her. That's what an ane does... I think.

As we walked I watched as people mindlessly chatted and walked around us, minding their own business.

It's funny how people are unable to tell when someone so close to them, someone they see every day is suffering. They do nothing and just walk around not bothering to help someone in need, just turning their backs and leave them for dead. I knew that if we joined the laughter, it would lead us to our death.

I gritted my teeth since my hand was wrapped around Hanabi's.

All I knew was I was livid for a reason I barely knew why. Why were people so selfish and self-concerned? It's their ego that makes us miserable, while we cry and suffer, they smile and laugh.

"Hinata-nee...?" I looked down; I almost forgot Hanabi was there.

I relaxed my face, "Yes?"

She took in a deep breath, worry etched all over her face. "Are you - Are you alright?" The brunette asked me.

I was genuinely surprised at the question, she never really asked me that before, she gave subtle hints that she was concerned but never bluntly asked me or as a matter of fact say it aloud.

A fake smile crossed my face, "Hai, I'm fine." I winced as the pain in my stomach pulsed through my body; reminding me that I wasn't fine. Hanabi looked at me skeptically before turning a way to look back to her feet.

When we arrived at Hanabi's school she held onto my hand tighter than ever; like she didn't want to leave. Was she having problems at school? Or does she just not want to leave me? Sometime Hanabi was an enigma all in itself to me. If she had a problem then I would do anything in my power to help.

"Hanabi," Hanabi snapped out of her thoughts and her grip on me loosened. "Is there something wrong?"

"Hmm?" She looked at me. "Oh, no. There's just an annoying kid in my class." I couldn't whether she was lying or not.

"Oh ok, well I'm off." Hanabi let go of my hand hesitantly. I began to walk away but turned back to wave. "Matta ne."

I arrived at my school about five minutes later. Before entering the campus I had to take a deep breath to prepare myself for the hell I was about to face. With my head held high I walked onto the school platform.

Right away I got stares, some were glares and others were just looks of pure curiosity. It seems Sakura spread out another rumor about me again; more than half of the school probably heard it in one day. That's a new record for Sakura and her cronies.

I ignored their looks and walked into the building, since Sakura knew my usual pathways to avoid her so I guess I need to make up a new way to class to avoid her. I took the stairs in the back of the school; hardly anybody knew they were there.

Shizune-senpai's office was on the third floor, had purposely arrived before she did so I could take some of her nursing supplies.

Sadly, I had no idea how to make it past Sakura from the second floor to the third. Trying my luck I ran into the crowd of students, hoping I would blend into the sea of people. When the crowd was approaching the stairs I quickly pushed my way out and bolted up the stairs and met the door of the nurse's office. I crept into the infirmary and silently slid the door to check for Shizune-senpai or Tsunade-sama.

Tsunade-sama was somewhat suspicious of me. I think she about my bruises, even though I covered every nch of my skin. But when I would see her in the hallway she would give me a weary stare. Like she knew there was somethin up with me somehow.

This wasn't the first time I've stole from the infirmary so I already knew what to expect and where to find what I needed.

So, I carefully crept into the office that was crammed with large beds and a few chairs and walked my way to the second cabinet and took some bandages and ointment. Walking to another shelf I pulled out pain killers and slipped them into my bag. To make it unnoticeable that there was a shortage in items, I made sure to grab the ones at the end of their rows. That way when Tsunade or Shizune went through all of the items in the front rows and noticed the absence of the others, my wounds would have been long since healed and I would be able to avoid suspicion all together.

With my bag now fully stocked I dashed out the infirmary and to the girl's bathroom. I sneaked a peek inside making sure no one was in there especially Sakura. After finding no one inside, I went in myself and set my shoulder bag on the counter.

I undid my uniform to show my torso, I opened the ointment and began to rub it over my bruised stomach; wincing ever now and again when I hit a sore spot. Although, the cooling ointment did feel great on my bruises. Next, I unraveled the bandages and wrapped them around me tight, this way it wouldn't look bulky and no one would suspect a thing. I made sure that the bandages were secure before popping 2 pills into my mouth. That being done I closed my bag and headed to my classroom.

The classroom was nearly empty as usual, most people stopping to talk to their friends before they separate; sadly, I don't know how that feels. My hand went to my stomach as I rubbed it, checking if the bandages were on securely just to be safe.

Sitting at my desk now I casted my line of sight to Kurenai-sensei, it must have been hard for her to lose her husband so soon; I wonder if she's okay. I shook my head, where the hell did that thought come from? Kurenai's ruby red eyes followed mine and I felt my heartbeat race as I tried to look away from those hypnosis orbs.

My face began to heat up and my pulse quickened as I heard the clacking noise of heels. Each sound thudded in the back of my head before they finally ceased in front of me. I looked up at the woman towering over me. Her face seemed to be analyzing something and it made me shiver in my seat.

I don't know how long we actually stood there staring at each other before she spoke up finally, "Hinata is something troubling you? You seem uneasy."

I panicked and spoke the first thing that had come to my mind, "It's nothing, my stomach is just a little upset, and that's all." I hope she would believe that.

Those crimson eyes narrowed disbelievingly at my statement. Had she seen through my ruse?

"Oh, well would you like to go to the nurse?" Kurenai questioned in a challenging tone.

"N-No! U-Uh it's not that bad I can live." I had no intent of getting caught for theft, especially by Kurenai.

"Well, if you need anything feel free to tell me, I'd be more than glad to help."

I stared at her for a second, "Okay, I'll let you know." Too bad I would probably never take her up on that.

She casted me a worried glanced again before going back to her desk and sorting meaningless papers once again. I looked over at the door watching as people piled into the room like insects. I knew that as soon as that bell rung again my own personal Hell would begin once again.

The bell rang and Kurenai stood, grasping the attention of the entire class.

I sighed and turned to the window, another meaningless lecture.

The more Kurenai-sensei talked the more I seemed to fade from this know world and drift into my own secluded paradise.

There everything was tranquil, and calm. I felt free, like I could just let all my inhibitions just go away with the wind and I still wouldn't have a care in the world. I could finally let those walls around me crumble and deteriorate, I could be myself here. I was all alone in my tiny, secured paradise.

For some reason, however, I felt my world fade away as the sound of thunder struck my eardrums. I looked up at Kurenai. A ruler in her hand that was perpendicular to the board. I noted that she struck the board to get the class's attention again.

She went to her temporary desk and pulled what looked to be a flier. She held it up for the class to see.

"As per request by principle Tsunade and me, the school board has allowed us to hold a field trip in the woods for camping." My eyes widened. "The trip costs around 3500 yen, which will completely cover bus rentals, regular meals, and the rental fee for the clearing we're using. Make sure you bring a tent, a blanket or something to sleep in and sneakers. The letter containing the information has been sent home and should arrive to most of your homes today. Also, please notify me if you have any food allergies."

The school bell began to chime letting us know that it was lunch break, the other students began pushing to get out the door and some staying in the class and pulled out their homemade bentos, sadly I never really had the joy of enjoying a handmade bento made with love since Kaa-san died. Karu tried but always gave me things like crab and shrimp in it, which I absolutely dislike.

Kurenai cleared her throat, making the students stop their pushing and shouting.

"The trip is on Sunday, so that only gives you a couple days to decide and come up with the money. Dismissed." The students left faster than a pack of animals. I stood up too and took my bag off the hook on the side of my desk and left the room as well. I felt eyes on the back of my head and knew Kurenai was watching me with those crimson eyes of hers. I shook my head and continued my way out the classroom.

I wandered around the school aimlessly; the sound of talking and laughter filled my ears as I passed the cafeteria. My stomach grumbled reminding me that I haven't eaten in about 2 days; then again I hardly ate ever.

Finally reaching the garden in the back of the school I pulled out my notepad and sat down under an apple tree. Flipping through the pages of my worn out notepad I noticed that most of my drawings were of Naruto. He used to love my drawings and would always ask to see them, no one else would. When I was younger I tried to show Karu but she brushed me off every time, and Hanabi was too young to even care.

I took a pencil out of my bag as I finally reached a clean page. I froze what would I draw? I thought for a little and then it hit me, I could draw a portrait of Hanabi with fireworks in the background! I began to get to work when I heard the crunching sounds of shoes meeting grass. Soon several shadows loomed over me, I looked up.

And I froze.

Standing there right in front of me were Sakura and her cronies all leering down at me in mischief and disgust.

Sakura bent down in front of me, "Hey Hina-chan! It's been so long since we've seen each other. And I thought we were such good friends!" She taunted me in a sickly sweet voice. I stayed quiet and the girls didn't like it.

"Awww, maybe she's still upset over Uzumaki-kun!" Karin told Sakura.

Sakura smirked, "Hmmm, maybe you're right. If it helps you feel better Naruto seems much happier with me than with that worthless skank he was with before." She smiled knowing good and well what she was doing.

I couldn't take anymore; I knew they were going to kick my ass so I might as well speed it up. "You bitch!" I spat at her. The next thing I knew I was on the ground with a stinging pain in my face. All of my stuff scattered all over the floor.

I watched as a blonde haired girl picked up my notepad and flipped through the pictures. "_Hora_! Sakura-senpai, look, all these pictures are of Naruto. How cute!"

Sakura turned around, "Oh really?" She said in a snotty voice "Let me see that." The girls began crowding around my book flipping through the pages of Naruto, as embarrassed as I was I knew this was my only chance to get away from them. I quietly lifted myself off the floor and began to run back to the classroom. A scream erupted from my throat as I felt a stinging pain in the back of my head and a strong force pulling me back.

I fell back on my butt onto the ground with a firm hand in my indigo locks.

"Where do you think you're going, parasite?" She tugged at me hair and I screamed in pain again. If I pretend it doesn't faze me maybe they will leave me alone, I've tried it before with them and it worked so why not now? While Sakura was yelling at me and throwing insults at my face I closed my eyes and drifted into my inner world, hoping that it would block out most of the pain.

I felt myself being thrown around and the muffled insults of the gang as they tried to break me. I wouldn't allow it though, I knew that they would grow tired of me and I can already see it in their eyes. A girl with blue hair picked me up by my collar and threw me against the tree and I cried out in pain. A stinging pain went down my spine and I snapped out of my revere.

Sakura gripped me by my hair and shoved me to my knees, "I don't even see why you're alive. You just leech off everyone and suck the life out of it, parasite!" The girl laughed at me again, "I think it's time to teach you a lesson."

I heard the sound of metal swiping over metal and my eyes widened as I realized what their intentions were. I began to struggle, I did anything I could to get Sakura to let go of my hair. "Stop!" I yelled I begged them to stop but they just held me down and laughed. They finally found my weakness, my hair.

Since the death of my mom, I spent my time growing my hair to resemble mother's. It took years just for me to get it this long, to have something to remember my mother by and they were going to take it away simply because they were bored of me. That thought alone made me want to scream with anger and frustration.

Pieces of my indigo hair began to fall to the floor along with the sound of snipping. My eyes began to cloud over with tears and my fingernails were burrowed deeply into the ground.

I couldn't believe they were actually doing this to me. I had done nothing wrong to them and yet I have to pay for it . I sobbed silently as the ground was being covered with my hair. If only they knew what kind of hell I went through every day, I bet they would think twice about their actions.

The grip on my hair was finally released and that dreadful sound of rusty scissor blades rubbing together was gone. I could no longer feel my hair warming the back of my neck anymore; I suddenly felt cold and started to shiver. A terrible pain welled up in my head again like yesterday. It was unbearable, and made feel like my head would possibly explode. In an instant my hands flew up to the sides of my head while I whimpered. My fingernails dug into my scalp and only made my head feel worse. I heard laughing and without looking up I new it was Sakura and her cronies, probably snickering at how pathetic I probably looked at this moment; honestly I couldn't bring myself to worry about what they would do to me next. Nothing could be worse than this.

I lifted my head and turned back and faced them from my crouched position. What I saw shook me to the core; instead of their normal makeup covered faces I saw a blurred gray figure. What the hell was this? My mind couldn't grasp it and the pain in my head worsened. It was too intense. I already knew my body couldn't handle this much pain. The rate of my breathing sped up to the pain where I had to take brief gasps. I began to panic, was this normal? I continued to shake from the fear of this isolated world I was in. I always wanted to be isolated on my own world but now that I'm there I don't like it, not at all.

The second bell rang signaling that break time was over and that we had to return to class, including them. They began to depart and I watched as the gray, blurred figures as they moved away slowly. I felt paralyzed and unable to control my body.

I heard the sound of feet sliding against dirt and looked up to meet the one person I would least think would help. Naruto. I didn't know what to do, I knew I needed help, but was it really worth it? And I still had no idea if would consider it. I had no other choice I guess, so I reached my hand out to him when he near enough as a sign for help.

His cobalt eyes met mine as he grew nearer, and a look of disgust crossed his face. He came closer and closer and I felt hope swell up in my chest only to have it crash and burn and he passed me without acknowledging me. I turned back and watched him walk away before his image was blocked by black blotches in my vision and before I knew it I was out again.

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><p><strong>XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX<strong>

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><p>I felt something weird in the pit of my stomach. My eyes felt stapled shut and it felt as if I was floating somehow. Then I began to realize that the feeling in my stomach was nostalgia. It was dark, where ever I was, and for some reason a feeling of deja vu began to fill me like I've seen this before. It felt calming to experience but also lonely as well. My eyes caught up on a bright light out of the corner of my eye. So I reached for it. I was wanted to leave this place so desperately. It caused me to feel something I hadn't felt in a long time, I haven't felt it in so long that I didn't even know what it was that I felt.<p>

The bright light seemed to be getting closer as a silhouette was being formed it's the bright flash.

I felt a sharp pain in my ribs and cold water on my forehead.  
>"Huh? What is thi-" before I could finish it happened again. The coldness of water rushing over my head and a heavy pressure on my ribs. Panicking, I began to shake my head to rid myself of the pain. The pain in my ribs seemed to have gotten worse as more pressure was applied.<p>

"Relax, Hyuga-san." a soothing and familiar voice told me. I looked at the woman and realized it was Tsunade-sama standing beside me. Behind her I saw the other nurse Shizune-senpai. I blinked, Why was I here again? I felt the absence of hair over my neck; Oh that's right, that little fight I had with Sakura. My mood deepened as I remembered what happened with Naruto and my hair. I thought he was sorry for leaving me or at least that's how it sounded to me. I guess Sakura has him under her little spell already, just like everyone else in the school.

Wait.

Had Tsunade seen my wounds from last night? I glanced at Tsunade-sama and noticed she was giving me a hard look, like she was analyzing me.

"Shizune, could you pick my mail from the office." My jaw tightened, I'm pretty sure Shizune-senpai realized as well that she was just trying to get me alone. We both stared at each other for a while until, Tsunade-sama broke the silence, "Listen, I want to know who did this to you and I want to know now." She questioned me with a firm voice.

Fuck! She had seen the bruises! "I got in a fight with Sakura and her friends," I tried to play it off but judging by the look on her face she didn't believe me one bit.

Tsunade's stern look turned into a glare, " The wounds I saw the bruises on your torso were too old to be from your fight with Sakura." I gulped, "Plus, I don't think Sakura and her friends caused you enough damage to give you a broken rib." A broken rib? I knew I had some serious bruising but a rib being broken?

"I got in a fight the day before, t-that's why I wasn't here yesterday." I lied to her but I wasn't a very good liar especially right on the spot.

The nurse crossed her arms, "Hn. Alright I'll let you go but one more incident like this and I'm calling you parents." I cringed at the thought of what Hiashi would do to me if he found out.

I nodded, remaining stoic on the outside. "Thank you, may I leave now?"

"Fine. Go home, the bell a couple of minutes before you woke up." Tsunade-sama stood up from the stool beside me and to her desk where she put on her glasses and began to do paperwork. I slid from under the covers of the bed and grabbed my bag from the side of the bed. Hopefully this time I would be able to pick up Hanabi without too many questions.

"Oh and Hinata," She stopped me before I could walk completely out the room. "The next time you want to steal something, don't return to the scene of the crime, especially not in the same day." She chuckled when she saw my blush.

I quickly scattered out of the room and held my ribs in pain, the pain killers had worn off and my body now felt like it was on fire. I reached into my bag and swallowed the rest of the pills I had before running off to pick up Hanabi on time.

Once I arrived at the school I notcied almost everyone had left already, meaning I wasn't too late like the last couple of days. I walked into the courtyard of the elementary school and what I saw almost made my heart leap with glee. I can see her! I can see Hanabi! My eyes clouded over with tears of happiness before I wipped them off with my sleeve. Though I was still confused as to why I couldn't see any other female but somehow I could see Hanabi. That was another thing. It was only females that appeared as gray, blurred figures. Boys appeared just fine in my eyes. I should get help from a seeing eye doctor or something but I'm pretty sure whoever I told this to would believe I was crazy. It might not even be a big deal, I'm pretty sure that with a good nights sleep my eye sight will be back to normal.

I saw Hanabi sitting on the stairs of the school. I took a deep breath in, I had no idea how Hanabi would react to seeing my hair drastically change in just a few hours. Thankfully, I had the entire walk here to make up a lie, Hanabi was much smarter than she was given credit for, she somehow had the ability to read into your eyes and tell a lie from the truth.

Hanabi rose her had as she saw my feet come into view, her eyes quickly changed from confusion to utter shock, I chuckled sheepishly as I rubbed the back of head. The brunette in front of me made several attemps to speak from what I saw but failed each time due to the shock she couldn't mask.

"Hi-Hinata, wh-what happened to your hair?" she asked truly puzzled.

I self conciously twirled the ends of my hair, "Oh nothing, I just thought I try something new." I smiled fakely, "Having long hair seemed boring. It looks better don't you think?"

Hanabi faultered for a second before her confused one turned into an anrgy one, before it finally setted into a stoic expression. "Sure." She looked at me disbelievingly.

I quickly changed the subject, "Come one, you said wanted to get ice cream after school, right?" I turned around and began walking away, but not before checking that Hanabi was following. All with a mask on my face.

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><p><strong>XxXxXxXxXxXxX<strong>

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><p>While me and Hanabi were getting ice cream we decided to walk around town before going home. During the entire trip I noticed Hanabi taking quick glances at hair every now and again before she would turn her head with a look of guilt on her face.<p>

When we finally went home and indoors, I saw that Karu was home today. Unlike Hanabi she appeared gray and blurry as every other woman I saw. Her back was turned to us as she was washing the dishes, I guess she hadn't heard us come in yet. Me and Hanabi saw Karu nearly jump in the air in fright when the door was shut before she turned around to see us.

"Hello, dea-" Her eyes widdened as she froze when her brown eyes met mine. Me and Hanabi looked at each other when she dropped the plate she was drying. "H-Hinata-itoshii wh-what-?" Her stammering was cut off as we saw the door creek open again.

Oh shit! It's Hiashi! I had to act fast so the first thing I did was grab Hanabi's hand and run upstairs with her in tow. We both knew that whenever Hiashi came home early was when he had a bad at work and was looking for someone to take it out on, usually the first person he saw. I felt kind of bad for leaving Karu downstairs but this was the life she chose and so now she will have to pay the consequences.

"Hinata?" I looked down at my little sister, I was so lost in my thoughts I barely even remembered she was there.

I knelt and gripped her shoulders, " Go into your room and lock your door, if Hiashi comes up here don't open your door no matter how much he threatens you. When their done fighting I'll come and get you. You can sleep in my room tonight, 'kay?"

She nodded fearfully, we heard a crash and I quickly rushed Hanabi into her room and then I sprinted to mine.

I closed the door and leaned back against it. The sounds of the harsh screams of Hiashi and the hesitant arguments Karu made back rung through my ears. I counted to three before I hear scuffling and things being thrown. For some reason I felt my heart begin to break a bit more, I put my hands over my ears and slid down to the floor as I tried to block out the sounds of fighting.

_I want to try to breathe  
>If I could just sense a bit of happiness,<br>I would never drown again_

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><p><strong>Hey guys I'm so sorry for the 4 month wait, I was very busy and my life has been a train wreck, I'm just trying to sort out the problems in my life. But now that school is out I have more time to write and hopefully update faster, sorry for the inconvinience. I hope this 6,000+ chapter will be a worhty apology<strong>

**Japanese words used:**

**Imoto- Little sister  
>Onee-chan- Big sister<br>Ane- an older sister**

**If I missed any please let me know.**

**Thank you for reading, please review.**


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Here's another chapter of Joking Speaker. I hope you like this chapter and I'm sorry if there was any confusion, reviews will now be answered at the end of each chapter now. I only ask that guests leave some type of name when reviewing so it makes it easier to reply; Thank you! Also I would like to thank the people who added Joking Speaker as their favorite story and on have it on Alert. It's your kindness that makes me continue to write. Also, you may have noticed the picture, I understand if you can't read since it got cut off but it just says Joking Speaker in Japanese and in english. **NOTE: To all readers I have nothing against Sakura, personally I love her and she is one of my favorite characters, but her personality makes it so easy for her to be an antagonist in this story. **The quote/song below is **Unhappy Refrain** by **Kagamine Rin and Len**.

**Summary: **Hinata and Naruto's relationship was perfect, the perfect couple. Or so Hinata thought, What will Hinata do when she finds Naruto, the love of her life, supporting Hinata's biggest tormentor, Haruno Sakura. Hinata spins into a depression, like her life wasn't hard enough, with an abusive father and protecting her sister from him as well. How is it going to turn out good now? Rated M for suicidal thoughts and inappropriate language, no lemons, sorry. NaruHina. AU

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><p><strong>Joking Speaker<strong>

**Four: Coward**

_How can you say that this is 'happy'?  
>To wake up at 4am with lost and hollow eyes<br>Wherever I end up, would it be happy there?  
>This is what it means to be happy<br>Falling onto the asphalt that lies below  
>Breaking and crumbling into nothing<br>__Only the sight of you is holding me back  
>If you say so, then is it 'happy'?<em>

The spring sun began to set in the distance, giving the town of Konohagakure no Sato a slightly orange hue. The loud chiming of a bell was heard before the rapid sound of footsteps and talking overshadowed it. Soon a group of students began to filter out into the courtyard of the junior high school, the heavily crowed courtyard began to get thinner and thinner when the students decided to go their separate ways. In almost ten minutes the courtyard had become completely vacant.

Along a grove of cherry blossom trees, a couple walked side by side; together in silence. The boy was quickly losing his patience, he could tell his girlfriend was distressed about something. What it was he had no idea but he vowed he would get to it before they reached her house. The blonde quickly glanced to the girl on his left before quickly darting to the trees when he had noticed she was looking back at him.

The boy's face flushed when her soft hand loosely grasped the tips of his fingers in an awkward attempt to hold hands with him. Even though they had been together for exactly a year - today was their anniversary and he had planned on giving her something special - she was still nervous when it came to romantic interactions.

Naruto's steps faltered a little when he heard her mummer an apology, he had to strain his ears to hear her. He gave her a big warm smile that always seemed to improve her mood, her small hand wound its way through his, letting him know she was more comfortable than she had been a moment ago. "Why are you apologizing? You've done nothing wrong." His smile shined with his affection for her.

She stopped walking, causing him to stop and stare at her in concern.

"I-It's just that ..." Her head hang low and she hesitated, he squeezed her hand to reassure her, "... that this has been going on for a year now a-and I thought ..." She stopped when she couldn't proccess the right words.

Naruto decided to press on a bit, "Thought what?"

Her indigo silk-like hair covered her face like a curtain but he could still see the tears that found its way to her eyes. "H-How can you not be tired of me by now?" her voice started to tremble. "I don't understand what you see! I'm quiet wierd a-and I'm nothing but a para-" she was cut off by a tanned hand that gently lifted up her chin before she could say _that_ word. The curtain fell back and beautiful lavender doe eyes were revealed. Reflected in them were blue eyes filled with seriousness yet boundless love. He connected their foreheads and stared deep into her eyes before kissing her on her nose.

"Hinata, I've told you before. Your not a parasite, your far from it. I won't leave you and that's a promise; I love you just the way you are." Naruto hand reached around his slender neck and undid the necklace - One of his most prized possessions - from around his neck before placing it in the palm of her soft yet sweaty hand and closing her vanilla colored fingers back over it.

He kissed her on those soft, plump, pink lips he loved so much before whispering into her ear, "I will always love you, never forget that."

Those periwinkle eyes of hers gazed up at him in surprize, she loved him too, though she had never worked up the courage to say it. Maybe she wasn't the parasite Sakura and Karin had made her believe, maybe there was some sort hope for her yet, maybe there was a chance ... with Naruto by her side.

With the falling cherry blossom petals falling around them in a steady dance, the couple continued on their journey home.

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><p><strong> .。.:*・° .。.:*・° .。.:*・° .。.:*・° <strong>

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><p>Hinata's eyes narrowed as she stared at the blue crystal necklace that laid in her hand. Her fist tightened on it as she sat under the Sakura blossom trees just like that time 2 years ago. 'He had said forever.' She thought to herself, 'He lied, he was always lying.' Her heart ached. She brought the necklace to her chest wanting to revel in her memories for a little longer. The happy memories didn't last long as she began thinking of the last couple of days and how Naruto just threw her away. How dare he!<p>

She had wasted her whole junior high years chasing after him! And once she finally caught up he threw her back for some pink headed wench! Was he too stupid to realize that he was being used to gain an advantage on Sasuke?

She sighed again and shoved the necklace in her bag before walking off, glaring at the Sakura Blossoms that reminded her of a source of her misery and thinking of a way to properly dispose of his necklace.

As Hinata arrived at the courtyard of her school she glared at the crowd of people who backed away from her, 'Like a parasite' she thought bitterly. She rubbed the back of her neck, almost forgetting that her hair was now short thanks to Sakura. She was still mad over that, the one thing she had to remember her mother was her hair. Hanabi had brown hair like Hiashi - at which one point people thought she was the spawn of Karu and Hiashi which made her puke - so Hinata was the only one that resembled her mother, maybe that's why Hiashi hated her with a passion? Her hair wasn't really that short, it reached a little past her shoulders, she could deal with it for now.

She made her way to her classroom without running into Sakura for once, which was good. She also ignored those hushed whispers no one thought she had heard. It seems like Sakura got Ino, her best friend/rival to do her dirty work. Ino was notoriously known for being the best source of information in the school; she spread gossip like wildfire and was always there when something interesting was going on. Apparently Sakura used Ino to get everyone to think she was a parasite. She grinded her teeth at those words because ... they were true, all she did was leech from someone until there was nothing left to give, then move on to the next one. It pained her but in a way she guessed she deserved it somehow, at first she thought that she didn't but now that she actually thought about it she was nothing but a filthy parasite.

She began to think of the past couple of days, of how she forgot to pick up Hanabi, of how Hanabi tried to drag her up the stairs when Hiashi was done with her; was she leaching off her sister? What would her sister become if she continued to just mooch off of her like a common insect. I bugged her to no end.

While Hinata was sitting in class waiting for the bell to ring she saw two girls whispering urgently to each other before quickly running out the room. She had seen that for about five minutes, with other people doing the same. Hinata got out of her chair and followed the girls in hope to see what all the commotion was about.

Her thoughts ran dry when she noticed exactly why there such a fuss and why she hadn't seen a glimpse of Sakura. Right in front of her surrounded by some nosy eavesdroppers was Sakura and ... Naruto; she felt another twinge in her heart.

The newly formed couple was fighting for all to see; no doubt Sakura started it because Naruto hated to fight in public, unlike Sakura whom had no bounds.

"What the fuck is your problem Naruto!" Sakura screamed and stomped her foot.

Naruto shook his hands up and down in an aggravated manner, "What the hell do you mean 'my problem'?!" He growled, "You're the one who started bitching at me out of no where!"

Hinata looked at the crowd that was growing thick, was anyone even gonna try to stop this?

She watched Sakura move closer to Naruto, glaring directly in his face with a look of pure rage accompanied, "So I'm a bitch now? Well then let me act like one!" If possible she got even closer to Naruto, "You've been acting like such a bastard to me since yesterday! You don't think I didn't notice you looking at Ino? Your supposed to be my boyfriend, yet you eye-grope every girl who passes your way! And to add on top of that you wouldn't go to the camping trip with me until I asked you for like the tenth time! If you really love me like you proclaim then prove it! " Her voice became sharper and sharper with each sentence that passed.

The crowd surrounding them 'Oooo'ed

The blonde glared at their spectators, then backed up to put some space between him and Sakura and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Okay, I'm going to explain this to you once; Yesterday I explained to you that I wasn't in a great mood because Kaka-sensei basically chewed my balls out about my grades and skipping his supplementary lessons. Second, I looked at Ino because she said hello to me; your turning everything I do into a situation. For god sakes your yelling drew a crowd!" He took a deep breath before continuing, "And I told you for the eleventh time that I said no because Jiraiya is coming over for the week and I only get to see him a few times a year. Look, I'm sorry if you don't think I'm great boyfriend and I'll make it up to you ok?"

The crowd went silent, and Sakura stared at him hard for about a minute before her features softened, Naruto grabbed her hand and pulled her into a short kiss before breaking and telling her that he loved her.

It struck a chord deep in Hinata's heart as he said those words to her only a couple of days ago. The couple began to deepen their kiss and the crowd faded. Hinata couldn't handle it anymore and ran off before Naruto could cause her more pain.

Sakura opened her eyes through the kiss and watched the indigo haired girl run away while wiping tears from her eyes. She smirked through the kiss 'Looks like the little leech finally learned her place'

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><p><strong> .。.:*・° .。.:*・° .。.:*・° .。.:*・° <strong>

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><p>Hinata didn't know why she came to the roof, maybe it was the calming wind, or maybe it was the heat of the sun shinning down on her.<p>

Her breaths were large and hasty, she had ran up here non-stop for three floors and now it was taking its toll. Her chest burned like hell and her injured chest ached even more than usual. She walked up and leaned her body on to the fence surrounding the roof.

The purpose of the roof was pretty foolish if you asked her, it was made to prevent students from committing suicide and falling off the ledge. One could easily climb over the fence and jump off from there.

The sight of Naruto and Sakura had been too much for her, it just reminded her how much Naruto had betrayed her and how much Sakura was being a bitch. She groaned once again once she realized that she had left her bag in Kurenai's classroom. Meaning she would have to go back and most likely witness Naruto and Sakura suck each others face off while Sakura rubbed it in her face.

The bluenette rose and began to walk toward the exit to retrieve her bag, when she reached for the handle though she froze and turned to look back at the surrounding gate.

It would be so easy.

All it would take was a simple jump and all this angst would be free from her soul. Her father, Karu, Naruto, and Sakura. It could all vanish and all it would take was one jump. Before she knew it she was climbing the fence and stepping on to the shallow edge on the other side of the fence.

She rested her tense back on the gate and her fingers wove through the holes of it for a better grip. The strong wind blew against her, and her shirt stuck to her with sweat. Hinata closed her eyes 'If I could forget everything, life would be so much simpler.' she thought to herself. The girl looked up and watched as a small airplane flew overhead with a slight hum to it as it left a white smoky trail wherever it went.

She held on to the fence for a few seconds before making up her mind before letting go, time slowed as her finger released the fence and her body spun around and began to fall through the air.

In an instant Hanabi appeared in her mind, the images ringing and echoing inside her head and her lavender eyes snapped open in alarm. Just as her second foot began to fall off the building the girl reached out and grasped the chained fence for dear life. Using all her strength she pulled herself back up, panting at the shock.

How could she forget about Hanabi?! Was she really that selfish to leave the world and let her sister rot? She really was the worst type of person. She was the parasite that leached off her sister, and no matter what that wouldn't change.

"What are you doing, Hyuga?" a strangely familiar voice questioned her. The girl snapped her head up and met an unfamiliar face, Uchiha Sasuke's to be exact.

Hinata wasn't so in touch with the raven haired Uchiha, but she did know of him. She had seen the Uchiha around a lot while she was dating Naruto but only exchanged a few words that could barely be classified as a conversation, much like her older cousin he addressed her as "Hyuga". Other than that all she knew was that he was extremely quiet and sometimes could be seen brooding over something thanks to Naruto's antics; he also had no patience for those not worth his time, like Sakura for example or for that matter any fangirl but especially Sakura.

She shook her head and pushed her thoughts to the back of her mind, after all she was just caught attempting suicide by the Uchiha.

"Wh-What are you doing here, Sasuke-kun?" Maybe she could play it off.

Sasuke's eyes furrowed for a second as his patience was thinning, "I believed I asked the question first, Hyuga" Scratch the playing it off thing, Hinata almost forgot that the Uchiha was not easily swayed.

"I-I was just watching the sky." Hinata had to resist face-palming herself from the stupidity that came out of her mouth, she had also forgotten what a terrible liar she was.

"Hn." Sasuke crossed his arms, unconvinced. Hinata let out a huge breath of relief when the navy haired Uchiha began to depart from the roof, maybe he had believed her terrible lie. Right as his hand was on the door handle he turned to give Hinata one last look. "Plummeting 5 stories to your death is a coward's way out. By the way, kick Naruto and Sakura's ass for me, they both deserve it." And with that the boy was gone, leaving an awestruck Hyuga to reflect on his words on the way back to class.

By the time she made it back the bell had just rung and thankfully she had made it back before Kurenai had shown up for the next class. The bluenette had to admit she had a soft spot for Kurenai, although she would never tell her what Hiashi was up to, she knew Kurenai had a certain caring aura about her.

The class was filled with chatter, mostly about what had occurred in the hallway between Naruto and Sakura, a few people glanced at her from time to time. Hinata was able to see why though, considering that Naruto had been her boyfriend a week ago.

The chatting died down when Kurenai stepped into the room and set her things down onto the podium in front of her.

The crimson eyed woman cleared her throat, "Alright, stand ..." she waited for the class to follow her instructions, "... and bow."

Hinata didn't think anyone had noticed her flinch in pain when she bowed, unknowingly to her, the woman in front had noticed with a slight scowl on her face.

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><p><strong> .。.:*・° .。.:*・° .。.:*・° .。.:*・° <strong>

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><p>Hanabi watched as her sister left the courtyard of the elementary school. She couldn't wait to get out of this baby school and she was happy that this was her last year here. Hanabi had always seemed older than the other sixth graders. Maybe because she was more mature? Or maybe it was the fact that a family tragedy had forced that child-like innocence out of her. She wasn't sure yet.<p>

Since the elementary school started later than the high school Hanabi was more than early. So to spend the time she went to her classroom and opened a book to read.

It was a pretty good book actually. It was about a girl getting kidnapped in hopes she would adopt Stockholm syndrome. The whole book was written as a letter to her kidnapper, maybe that why Hanabi liked it?

She had only made it to the middle of the book before the classroom door slid open. Hanabi didn't even realized how much time had passed, she took a quick glance at clock and was actually surprized that 45 minutes had passed. Damn, who knew reading could cause so much time to pass? Must have been a really good book to hold her attention for that long.

"Oi, Hanabi!"

Hanabi knew that voice. Shit.

"I didn't expect to see you here this early!"

He always knew that she came this early. Double shit.

"Ehh~ Hana-chan why are you ignoring me?"

Triple shi-

Hanabi was taken back when that said person pounced on her desk like he deserved to be there. Finally looking up Hanabi acknowledged the person at last. His name was Konohamaru and he pissed her off to no end. Originally he was supposed to be in the eighth grade but because of his ridiculously low scores on the placement exams no middle school would take him. And sadly this year he was placed in the same room as her.

She felt a chubby finger poking her cheek and wanted to snap it off. Maybe that way he would get that she wanted him to leave her alone so she could get back to her book. But since it was Konohamaru that wasn't going to happen anytime soon

"Hanaaaaabi~" He dragged her name out that made eyebrows twitch. Without looking Hanabi extended her arm and pushed at his stomach. maybe that way he would give her some breathing space.

"You should know I'm cluster phobic since you stalk me all the time, baka." Konohamaru looked down at her arm, her long uniform sleeve had risen a bit.

"Nee, Hanabi. Why is there a bruise on your arm?" Konohamaru already had a good idea why but he liked playing the role of the idiot.

Angry, Hanabi stood from her chair - also showing she was about 3 inches taller than Konohamaru - "Can you stop meddling into other people's buisness?!" She began to shout. Konohamaru tried to touch her arm to calm her a bit but it caused Hanabi to recoil from touching another one of her hidden bruises. In her fit Hanabi pushed the boy into another desk. "Don't fucking touch me!" She shouted at him again. This is why she hated him, the damn boy knew too much for his own good.

"Hanabi! How dare you touch the honorable grandson?!" Turning her head she noticed the room was half way full and she also noticed her sensei, Ebisu, was also in the room. She hated how he would coddle Konohamaru. The brown-haired girl grit her teeth before fleeing the room. The last thing she needed now was Ebisu calling her father and telling him how she pushed Konohamaru. So instead she decided to run to the only place she could go. Home. Her father was most likely at work and Karu worked at the grocery store across town. Hanabi pulled out the old phone that Hinata had gotten her in case of emergencies and texted her sister that she felt sick so she left home early.

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><p><strong>.。.:*・° .。.:*・° .。.:*・° .。.:*・°<strong>

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><p>Hinata sighed as she began on her long trek home. Well, at least she wasn't picking Hanabi up today so the trip would be a little shorter. She felt kind of worried when she heard that Hanabi left home early. There was no way she was sick, she was fine in the morning. She guessed she would just try to talk to her when she made it home. Hinata hoped to death that Hiashi wasn't there.<p>

The sound of several shoes hitting the ground punched at her eardrums and she began to sweat. Fuck.

The foot steps began to get closer as the sound began to louder. All she needed was to survive for another block and she would be safe. Hinata held her breath when the feet stopped, thinking she was safe. That small hope was shattered when she felt a shoe collide with her back, kicking her into a concrete wall.

"Ah!"

"Aww, look she fell down." One girl said to another. "Loser!"

"We only kicked you a little bit! Don't be so clumsy" Another one with dyed blond hair teased.

"You're a little parasite!" the last girl sneered. All three girls laughed at her.

Hinata looked up at them she had no idea who these girls were. All she knew is that they teased her constantly and that they went to her school, they were senior snobs.

"Don't give me that stink eye!" The first girl yelled at her.

Huffing a little Hinata tried to get back on her feet, the bruises on her body left her weakened. The middle girl stomped on Hinata's shoulder making her fall back down in a pathetic slump.

"Look at you," The first girl piped up again, "Naruto's gone so now your slutting around with Sasuke and even Kabuto-sensei?"

Hinata didn't even want to think about that man. Kabuto was Orochimaru's student teacher and had a thing for a girl last year but the girl left the school so Kabuto wouldn't lose his job. Even since about a month a two ago he took a notice in her. Or should he say her chest, the man preached that he cared for her safety but Hinata knew better than that. So far Naruto had gotten him to leave her alone but every once in a while he would offer to drive her home. Now that Naruto is gone Kabuto started coming around again.

"How many guys are you gonna whore yourself off to?" The third girl said. "God, you're a skank!"

The blond girl scoffed, "You know you suck the life out of everything around you."

"Parasite!"

"Parasite!"

"Parasite!"

The girls began to chant that word at her. Their words gettng louder and louder, so loud she could barely take it. But deep in her heart she knew that what they were saying was true. She dependant on every one, even Naruto.

"Say something slut!"

"Too dumb to talk?"

"Do parasites even have mouths?"

"You stink up the whole school you parasite! Just stay home!"

"How can you live with yourself, huh?!"

She drowned the girls out as she retreated into her own world. It felt as is she was watching a movie, like her life was a tv screen. There was no sound and there were no colors; just black and white. She didn't know how long she layed there, she was pretty sure the girls left a while ago. Numbly she began to rise from the ground using the wall as support. Hinata ran her hands over her stomach, she would have to change the bindings on her stomach soon. It felt like the wound had gotten worse.

Looking up the sky she noticed it was dark, guessing the time to be somewhere around 7 or 8 she made her way home.

When she made her way home she noticed Karu and her father sitting at the dinner table discussing something. They stopped talk when they noticed that she was in the room. Both shared a look before Karu spoke up. "Hinata-itoshii have a seat we have something to talk to you about."

The girl rose an eyebrow. Since when did they go to acting like a happy family? Last time she checked the CEO of the Hyuga Company was beating the living shit out of his artificial family and using political power to make sure no one told. He had even moved them out the Hyuga compound and into a small town side house, with the excuse that he wanted more time with his family. The fact that they believed his bullshit made her question how great the Hyugas were.

Letting out a huff Hinata obeyed her step-mother and sat down at the table but kept her eye on her father. There was no way she would trust him.

Hiashi wove his fingers together as a sign to show that he was thinking, finished thinking he gestured Karu to finish.

"Anyway, Hinata we've been talking. You've been acting different lately." Karu started.

Hinata scowled, "Like how? I'm the same as I've always been."

It was then Hiashi decided to speak up, " You've been coming home late - like today for example - and not to mention you skipped school the other day." He said harshly. "You are the Hyuga heir and acting this way was unfitting someone of such status."

"Either way you teacher called and told us that she recogmended that you go on that camping trip and me and your father completely agree." Karu finished for Hiashi.

In dissbeleif Hinata shot up from her chair - causing it to tip over onto the floor - and slammed her hands on the table in her rage. "Y-You can't be serious!"

"We are entirely." Hiashi answered her without even opening his eyes.

"But I'm perfectly fine!" She retorted.

"Hinata, silence yourself." The look of anger was clearly written on both their faces

Karu took that momment to interrupt before her husband got angry enough to hit her step-daughter. "Hinata-itoshii, we're doing this for you, please understand. Now please get washed up while I finish dinner."

Hinata didn't stay to hear the rest of her pity filled words and stomped her way up to her room and onto her bed. How dare they! They had no right to send her off like she was some animal! That means if she wasn't here what would happen to Hanabi? Hanabi would be here all alone with no one to defend her from Hiashi's temper. Fuck, she was screwed.

A knock on her door drew her from her thoughts, "C-Come in." she answered.

She wasn't that surprised to see Hanabi step though that door. The room was filled with deafening silence before the brown-haired girl actually spoke up.

"So ... Their actually sending you on that trip?"

Hinata was speechless, "Y-Yeah ..."

Hanabi plopped on the bed next to Hinata, "Can you do me a favor before you leave?" Their eyes met. "Can you tell me about mom?"

Smiling a bit Hinata gestured for Hanabi to sit in her lap. She grabbed a brush from the other side of her bed and began to brush Hanabi's long luxurious brown hair. "Okaa-san ... she was a proud woman. She was what you would think of when you thought of the word mom. Her hair was long and sapphire colored; her eyes were a deep violet that matched her pale white skin." She was Hanabi nod her head. " She loved us both with all her being and would call us her little angels. I don't know if you remember but you used to cry every time you heard thunder so she would take us in your room and lay us on the carpet with her and would sing us a lullaby that she made up her self." Hinata put the brush down.

"Onee-chan, can - can you sing it for me. I-I mean if you still remember it." Hanabi shifted so that her head layed on Hinata's lap.

Hinata took a deep breath and paused for a second to make sure she remembered the song.

"I was always walking alone,  
>When I turned around everyone was far behind<br>Even so I kept walking,  
>That was what strength was "I'm not afraid of anything anymore,"<br>I try to whisper to myself Everyone becomes alone someday living on only in memories  
>So that I can love and laugh even in loneliness<br>I will fight I will show no tears"

Hinata paused for a bit and wiped the tears from the corner of her eyes before continuing

"I was always walking alone,  
>A cliff waited for me at my destination<br>Even so I kept walking as proof of my strength  
>The strong wind blew against me,<br>My shirt stuck to me with sweat  
>If I can forget everything someday living will become so much simpler<br>If I fall past oblivion that's just running away  
>If only the meaning of having lived would disappear"<p>

Before long emotion overtook Hinata as she began to imagine it was her mother singing to her like she had used to. This time she didn't wipe the tears streaming down face and she didn't care if she looked pathetic in front of her sister. All she could think of now was her mother holding her and singing this lullaby when she was young and how she would try to sing along.

"Before long the wind died down and the sweat evaporated  
>I've become hungry,<br>Did something happen?  
>Together with vibrant voices a pleasant scent came along<p>

I was always walking alone, Everyone was waiting"

Her singing began to choked up and the sound of her crying was more clear.

"Everyone becomes alone someday living on only in memories  
>Even so it's fine, I will call these peaceful feelings my companions<br>Living somewhere I will someday forget the days that I spent with everyone as well  
>At that time I won't be strong anymore<br>With the weakness of a normal girl tears will overflow"

'Okaa-san I miss you' Hinata thought to herself, looking down she noticed Hanabi was asleep in her lap with faint tear marks on her cheeks.

**Bzzt! Bzzt! **Hinata's head snapped up as she heard her phone vibrate. Picking it up she saw it was Neji, her cousin, calling her. The girl hastily picked up and put the phone to her ear.

"Moshi moshi?" She answered.

"Hinata? Is that you?" It felt good to finally hear his voice.

"Oniisan! How are you?"

"I should be asking you the same thing. Is Hiashi still mistreating you?"

Neji was the only one outside her house that knew about Hiashi's abuse. Neji was a prodigy, such a prodigy that he was able to skip a grade and graduate at the age of 16. He fell in love with a girl from China named Tenten. After he graduated he proposed and they ran away to Tenten's home country, China. It was about that time when Neji found out that Hiashi beat her and Hanabi. But like before there was nothing he could do. After the Uchiha massacre the Hyugas took over the police department so revealing Hiashi would have been tough.

"..."

"I'm taking that as a yes. Please hold in there Hinata, I'm still trying to figure a way to get you guys out of this mess."

"I-It's okay Neji-niisan."

"Either way you girls shouldn't have to deal with this alone. Where is Hanabi? Can I talk to her? How is she?"

"Please don't trouble yourself Oniisan. Hanabi is in my room with me but she's sleeping. Hanabi is fine, he hasn't touched her in about a month so that's good, ne? But I think someone is upsetting her, she came home from school yearly today saying she was sick. But I know better. When Hanabi is upset she turns into a bad liar."

"Please keep an eye on her Hinata, I'm sorry that I have to go so soon but I have to get ready for my shift."

"Take care Neji."

"Stay safe imotou, love you."

"Love you too."

Hinata hung up before he could say more. Hinata moved Hanabi to the other side of the bed and pulled the comforter over both of them. In the back of her head she sung her mother lullaby before she succumbed to sleep.

The faint sound of Karu calling the girls for dinner resounded in the air.

**Chapter End**

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><p><strong>AN:** This chapter I tried to show the difference between Hinata and Hanabi. How Hinata seems cowardly but has that underlying strength and how Hanabiacts head strong and fierce but underlying all that is a soft hurt again sorry for the late update. Updates will be kind of slow for a while, an anonymous user made a bunch of requests that I couldn't help but take. Gomen ne~ Sorry for any mistakes this chapter, if there are any please let me know and I will fix them.

**Guest (1): Sorry if it doesn't seem like NaruHina. It will come at the end trust me~! Honestly I though my writing was super bad but thanks for the compliment. And that feeling you have may just be the fact that I'm gonna up the anti a lil. I love being evil!**

**CharNinja LOL: Thanks for the suggestion, as you see I tried to fit Sasuke into this chapter even if he only spoke 3 lines.**

**Guest (2): Gomen ne~ I left you waiting! And yeah I know what story you're talking about. I was reading that story while I was writing but I guess I drifted a lil too close to their story.**

**Gamakage: Well if you hated Naruto and Sakura before I can only imagine how you feel now!**

**DASvicks63: Yeah I know it's super sad so I tried to add a bit of humor in this chapter but it's still pretty dark.**

**HinatamaniacXD: Thanks for reviewing! It means a lot~!**

**Behind Invisibility: Don't worry there's no way I'm quitting this story you can count on that! I've always thought that my writing was crummy and choppy so to hear that from you makes my heart soar! I hope you liked this chapter!**

**Guest (3): Thanks for reviewing and yeah Naruto is a prick in this story, don't worry he'll realize it eventually.**

**The Exalted: You like my stories?! *Blushes* well thanks! It's actually you who motivated me to update this chapter. I was going through a lazy phase and every time I would look back at your review and start writing again. I don't want to spoil this but there is a happy ending. I don't thing I could live with myself if I didn't. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that so young. i kinda had to go to a dark place in my life to write this story. Kinda like you my parents used to argue but being the youngest I couldn't really do anything but hide under my bed while my parent fought. Anyway the reason for Naruto kissing Sakura will be explained sort of in the next few chapters, I'm going to see if I can fan it out a little. I'm kinda sorry to bring you another suicide attemp and I really hope you love this chapter!**

**PureBlossoms14: Thanks for your review! I'm glad your liking the story.**

** .shikatema: Thank you~! I didn't think my writing had that impact on people. It makes me touched to hear it!**

**Guest (4): I will! No matter what happens this story will go on!**

Sorry if I forgot anyone! Critisms welcome!


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Hey everyone! From now on I'm going to try and update faster for you guys! I hope you forgive me for my lateness, life has been a bitch right now so now it's hard for me to find time to write, that and the fact that whenever I read another story I can't help but feel like my writing is nothing but shit (Sorry for my language) Also seeing as the new writing style I tried made me feel uncomfortable so I'm switching back to writing in first-person point of view, I seem to do better at it. The song/quote below is** Karakuri Pierrot** by **Hatsune Miku**

**Summary: **Hinata and Naruto's relationship was perfect, the perfect couple. Or so Hinata thought, What will Hinata do when she finds Naruto, the love of her life, supporting Hinata's biggest tormentor, Haruno Sakura. Hinata spins into a depression, like her life wasn't hard enough, with an abusive father and protecting her sister from him as well. How is it going to turn out good now? Rated M for suicidal thoughts and inappropriate language, no lemons, sorry. NaruHina. AU

**Disclaimer:** All Naruto rights and publishing go to Masashi Kishimoto, Shounen jump!, and TV Tokyo.

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><p><strong>Joking Speaker<strong>

**Five: Pierrot**

_Ah, I spin and spin and spin until I get tired.  
>Ah, my breath, my breath, my breath stops.<br>__Ah, I'm going, going to change, but  
>Ah, I'm just, just scared.<br>I've stopped now, Waiting here for you is  
>The only reason I'm breaking.<br>Yes, I am the pierrot you believe me to be.  
>And while you still think that, manipulate my strings.<em>

_. . ._

_. ._

_._

The sound of several buses revving up their engines filled the propane scented early morning air, it was accompanied by the sounds of the other students complaining about the early time they had to wake up to catch the bus for the camping trip. Looking up at the sky I noticed that there were still twinkling stars in the medium blue sky. Morning was coming soon. Opening my phone I took a glance at the time before slipping it back in my pocket.

It was 4:57

Sigh, the buses wouldn't leave till around 5:30.

It was awkward standing here all alone watching everyone else gang up with their friends, talking about how cool the trip would be. I took a glance over at Naruto - I spotted him about fifteen minutes ago - I wasn't really surprized to see the blurry figure of Sakura desperately clinging to his arm with a strong vice grip while she talked with her friends. I only identified one of them as Ino because of her voice, the others I had no clue.

Sliding a hand over the big bag I brought, I felt for my sketch pad. Seeing as I had about 40 minutes to spare I might as well draw. I walked to our school's baseball field and sat in one of the dugouts. Flipping through my sketch pad I grimaced at some of the things I drew, most of the pages were occupied with portraits of Naruto. One with him sleeping in class, another with me feeding him food. I even came across a rather poor and cartoon-y drawing. Ah~ I remember now it was the time Naruto wanted to draw me but it wound up being me picked up in chopsticks over ramen. At least that's what he said because honestly it looked like a monster or something. I giggled, Naruto wasn't the best artist.

I sighed again, flipping to a new page I took a few color pastels from my bag and began to draw.

"Aaah Hinata, I didn't expect to find you here." I would know that voice from anywhere. "Y'know the buses are going to leave soon." ignoring him I looked up at the sky; it was lighter. how long was I drawing?

"Ohayo gozaimashita, Kabuto-sensei" I looked away from him.

He stepped closer to me and it caused me to flinch, "Hinata, is there something wrong?" I ignored him and looked to the ground. "If there is, you can tell me." he approached me even closer and I felt his pants rub up against my back. "You know I'm here for you right Hinata?"

"R-Right."

He slipped an arm over my shoulder before looking over it. "My, that's a very creative drawing Hinata. I had no idea you were so talented!" he said in fake surprise. My drawing wasn't anything special, it was just the night sky, with stars of several different colors. All I did was use different hues of blue and a bit of yellow to make it. It was nothing special.

Kabuto-sensei gave me a motion to stand up, and I obeyed.

"C'mon Hinata, the buses will leave any second and as your chaperone I have to make sure you don't get left behind, ne?" We walked back to buses in silence. His hand guided me on the small of my back and occasionally dipped lower to my behind but would retreat before I could call him out on it. Every time he did I just lowered my head further and let my sapphire hair cast its curtain upon my face.

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><p><strong>ピエロ<strong>

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><p>"Tsunade-sama! You have to do something! I'm telling you Hinata is in grave danger here!" Kurenai explained, her crimson eyes burning with anger and passion.<p>

Kurenai stood in Senju Tsuade's office. The office was painted a stark white with a small desk in the corner for her assistant Shizune. Kurenai couldn't help but worry, she didn't know if she was even getting her point across! All she wanted was the best for her student, even if it was showing favoritism. Sh e had noticed the signs, she saw her in the nurses office and she was the one who often found Hinata after bullies got to her. She didn't know who was doing it but she was going to find out even if she had to tear the whole school apart.

Tsunade sat up in her chair more, "Kurenai, you have to understand that this is delicate matter, we can't just assume things."

"I'm telling you something is going on at home, I saw here wince and hold her stomach in pain with my own eyes!" She took a breath, "How is that not proof?!"

"Because as you said there are bullies after her who are we to say that she's being abused when she could have also gotten them here?" Tsunade retorted wisely.

Kurenai began to get agitated, " What are you saying? You were the one who treated her the other week! And now you're denying it?! You even said you know she stole your bandages for herself!"

"Yes, but it is still not enough proof to go to the authorities with, Hiashi is a very influential man . We can't just throw around accusations with sufficient proof or a testimony from Hinata herself."

Kurenai took a seat back in her chair, rubbing her forehead. "I ... I know but there has to be something we could do."

"Well all we can do for now is to support Hinata without interfering and hope she will come to us."

"By then it could be too late! Who knows what he can do to her?"

Tsunade rose from her desk and gave her back to the teacher. "Well that's why we put her on this trip, if we can get close enough to her to find out the we can go to the police but not a moment further." She turned back around, "You're dismissed."

"But Tsunade ..."

Her hazel eyes turned cold. "I said you are dismissed." She raised her voice with authority. And with her eyes downcast Kurenai left the room dejected and joined the other chaperones outside.

Sighing Tsunade slumped int her chair, "Damn you Hiashi, just what the hell are you doing?"

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><p><strong><strong>ピエロ<strong>**

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><p>While we were on the bus I spent most of my time looking out the window; I just stared at the trees whipping by us as we moved at a fast speed on the bus. I looked next to me, it was empty. I should've expected that however. Because apparently I'm the slut of the school now. I didn't mind that much actually, I had some peace and quiet.<p>

Well as much as I could get with Naruto and Sakura on the bus along with her posse.

A piece of paper hit me in the back of my head and landed in my lap, looking back I saw Sakura waving her hand at me with an evil smirk while sitting on Naruto's lap. It irked me that he wouldn't even look at me, he could've at least did something. Give me eye contact at least!

I turned back around and opened the crumpled paper ball

"Why the long face Hinata?  
>Mad because Naruto's all mine?<br>Mad that he was never over me?  
>Mad that you'll never be me?<br>Mad because every time you were with him he was thinking of me?  
>Mad because you have no one?<br>Maybe it's because Naruto is happier with me than he ever was with you?  
>Or the fact that your plain compared to me?<br>Well don't worry Hinata, I'll take _good_ care of him."

I squashed the paper in my hand, how ... how dare she! I bit my lip even when the taste of copper filled my mouth. Tears began to pool up in my eyes and I couldn't hold it back. Because ...

She was right.

"Aww look shes crying!" I heard someone shout out teasingly.

"Damn, that bitch cries for everything." Another boy said.

"I'd cry too if I was nothing but a **_parasite_**."

My eyes widened then clenched at that word. I stood up swiftly with my fists bundled, I grabbed my bag fast and headed to the front of the bus.

"Aw, Hina. Going so soon?"

"We were finally having fun!"

I ignored their jeering calls and looked at the woman sitting in front of me. Kurenai. I lifted my head but still looked away from her, it wasn't like I could see her anyways. "Kurenai-sensei, do you mind if I sit with you?" I hadn't meant to sound so dejected but my voice came up like that anyway. I shivered a bit when I felt Kabuto-sensei's leering gaze on me.

Kurenai's crimson eyes widened, "Oh sure Hinata." She looked towards the back of the bus before looking back at me, "Is there something wrong?" I sighed and took a look around noticing a few people looking at me strangely," No, I just don't like to sit in the back." I lied " I hope I'm not bothering you."

With wide eyes she nodded. "Sure." She moved her stuff so I could take the window seat. I took out my MP3 player and headphones and leaned my head on the glass. I pressed play and began to hum along with the song quietly, we weren't even at the campsite and already I could tell this trip was going to be hell.

Kurenai stared at her 'Whatever happens I have to get her away from Hiashi.' she though, the woman turned around looking at a certain blond student of Kakashi's. 'And I have to find out this drastic change with Hinata.'

Hinata fell asleep, dreaming of a world of carnivals with her two loving parents. The life she should have had.

_Sitting in the grassy plains again Hinata's smile brightened when her mother placed a home-made birthday cake on the picnic blanket. Written in purple icing were the words: 'Happy Birthday Hinata!' with a big 16 candle under it._

_Her face lit up, "Happy birthday Hinata-chan!" Her mother cheered. "Happy birthday, sweetie." She heard her father say, "Don't get fat now." He joked._

_"I-I won't, I'll excercise!" Hinata happily declared._

_She giggled when her mother lightly smacked her father on the shoulder, "Honey, don't say things like that!" He mothers face lightened, "Go on Hinata blow out the candles."_

_She scrunched her face up thinking before moving her long hair out of the way and blew out the candles. Her mother clapped, "What did you wish for?" She was about to answer her father when her mother spoke up again, "Hiashi! If she tells us the wish won't come true!"_

_It made her kind of happy when she saw her parents playfully fighting, it was their way of showing love without having to kiss in front of their daughter. Her mother cut her a giant piece of cake, "Eat up!"_

_Hinata laughed a little before popping a piece of cake in her mouth. Her eyes widened in delight. Her mother giggled again, "I knew you would like it! I made a cinnamon cake! It tastes just like a cinnamon bun doesn't it?" Hinata nodded her head happily chewing her cake with gusto._

_At the words cinnamon bun her father rose his head. "Cinnamon you say? Let me have a piece of that!" He cut himself an enormous slice of cake like Hinata, "Sweetie, I might have to take you up on that exercising thing!"_

_Hikari place a hand on her cheek, "Mou, you two are too much alike. What will I do with you?"_

_All three of them laughed._

"Hinata."

"Hinata wake up!"

Hinata's snapped open, looking at the blurry, gray form of Kurenai then back out the window.

They were here.

Let the nightmare begin.

. . .

. .

.

* * *

><p><strong>Japanese words used:<strong>

Ohayo gozaimashita - Formal way of saying 'Good morning'

ピエロ - Pierrot

Mou - Jeez

* * *

><p>MusicIsMyLife6789 - I'm sorry~! I didn't mean to take so long with those updates! It just that life is really complicated now but at least I updated faster this time, sorry about the short length though.<p>

Shoma - Don't we all? Haha I love the reviews where they talk about kicking Naruto's ass. If your mad now your going to be furious with the next few chapters. By the way I like your icon, it made me laugh so hard, love that mustache!

Guest - Hehe you mad at me for making Sakura a bitch in this chapter~. I'm really happy that you love this story though! And I don't want to spoil anything so I'll just say there's a happy ending.

CharNinja LOL - Well your right Neji knows and Kurenai and Tsunade are suspecting it. That's what I mainly wanted to show in this chapter, the fact that Kurenai has an idea and how far she's willing to go for Hinata. And sorry to disappoint but the NaruHina comes later~

Snow Rukia - Don't worry, Naruto is going to get some sense knocked into him ... the hard way! I won't tell you who it was though~! Thanks I thought people were going to ride my ass about that, I was thinking about putting him a bit more into the story but I'm not sure in what ways yet. Sadly I can't have a one-sided love going on but I can make 'Sasuke rescues the day' a little during this camp trip. I wouldn't say it's love but more like he kind of knows what it's like to live a painful life and he doesn't want her to take a cowards way out because he hates cowards. Ah~! Me brilliant?! *Glomps* Thank you~!

onesparkforafire - *gasps* You liked each and every chapter! *glomps* Thank you so much~! I honestly thought this story was crap. It makes me happy to see someone enjoy my crappy writting! Your actually the first to comment about Hinata's hair actually, I think people just like brushed it off, I tried making it a big deal but apparently not, but it makes my happy that you noticed that. Thanks for the review!

Thank you everyone for the reviews! Sorry that this chapter is so short!


	7. Authors Note

**A/N: **Hey guys, I'm sorry to put this on you guys but I'm putting this story on hiatus. At first I thought I was doing pretty good with this story, but as the chapters continued my confidence in this story began to waver more and more. I know my writing is bad and I had asked you all to bear with it. But I let it get to a point where I couldn't even read my story without disgust. Last chapter I had gotten a bad review that really woke me up with this story. Normally I would retaliate but ... the things they said seriously got to me and they pointed out major flaws in my story that I couldn't fix. I'm putting this story on hiatus and I'm going to work on my other stories that I hope you'll read. I won't abandon this story but updates will be suspended until I can find the courage to come back and fix my errors. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

- Yomitoru


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